Attitude Transformation

Posted on January 11, 2019 by James Gorton

Well, it finally happened in Colorado.  We are supposed to get our first heavy snow today.  The weatherman said that it’s supposed to snow for 24 hours straight and give us 8+inches of white crystals.  These are the pictures that we woke up to with white flocked trees and white-painted streets.

People who have lived in this in the northern states are getting on the internet to find the earliest flights to Hawaii, Arizona, or Florida.  They hate the cold and want warmer climates so that they can shovel the sun versus the snow.  They hate being cooped up in the house and seek environments that aren’t bounded by snow shoes and down coats.

We had been in Scottsdale, Arizona for 33 plus years and we chose to move to the climates where cold and snow are a given.  People in Colorado who hate the snow can’t believe that we would move from 300+days of sunshine and no snow back to a place where the temperatures can and have gotten to a -5 degrees and the threat of blizzards blanketing the horizon on a continual basis.

When we look at the negative aspects of life, such as snow and cold, or heat and desert, our natural tendency is to want an environment that is different from the one we are in.  It’s only when we begin to look at the positive aspects of our situation that our attitudes begin to change.  When the snow is covering the ground, the birds have a very difficult time getting food.  My bird feeder at this very minute has 6-8 birds on the feeder plus 30-40 on the ground and many more in the tree waiting to get their sun-flower seeds.

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I saw my neighbor across the street begin to shovel because he had to get out to have someone pick him up.  I called over to him and told Tim that I would shovel his driveway which he was very appreciative because he is handicapped.  No matter what the circumstance we find ourselves in there are positive things that can guide our perspective.

On this journey today, I would encourage you to ask the question as you read this jlog, “What is positive about my present circumstance?”  You might even begin to feel differently about life.

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Sacrifice

Posted on January 10, 2019 by James Gorton

Sacrifice.  What does sacrifice really mean?  I began to think of the concept of sacrifice in my life going way back.  I guess when I was young I was involved in forced sacrifice when my mother wouldn’t let me eat candy before supper.  I had a sweet tooth (let me be clear, I still do) and would love to eat any candy that was in front of me, but was forced to refrain before a meal.  I don’t know if forced sacrificing is really the definition of sacrifice.

I guess the first choice I had in my life to sacrifice that I remember was when I  was in high school and played sports.  My choice to play sports had the consequence of sacrificing time with my friends to be out on the field running and sweating and preparing for the next game or event.  You see this with upper echelon athletes who are preparing for the olympics who choose to sacrifice friendships for a higher goal of competition.

When we fall in love with a person we choose to spend the rest of our lives with, a natural sacrifice comes when we sacrifice time with our friends we once spent time with to spend time with the new relationship.  Many of us have heard from our friends saying to us that we no longer spend time with them and feel the resentment from them for our choices.

All of us have experienced sacrifice in our journey, but what if we had the option to choose to sacrifice something or someone greater in life.  What would we do?  What would I do?  This is much harder as I began to read the following passage where Abraham had a conversation with the Lord about sacrifice.

““Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”. . .When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. At that moment the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!” “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.””  Genesis‬ ‭22:2, 9-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This is a very hard passage for me because it speaks to things in my live that are very important and to sacrifice them as Abraham was asked to do is difficult.  Ultimately God wants us to put Him before all others.  It is a journey of moving from things and people to placing Him first in our lives.  It took many years for Abraham to get to the place of being willing to sacrifice his only son.

On this journey God is in the process of revealing things that need to be sacrificed so that we can see him more clearly.  It may be something that has blocked our view of Him.  It may be a relationship that we need to emotionally remove so that our vision can be clearer.  It only takes a heart that is open to His direction.

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McDonalds and 100

Posted on January 8, 2019 by James Gorton

What does 100 have to do with McDonalds?  Could it be that 100 big macs were eaten at one time?  How about someone who drank 100 milk shakes at McDonalds?  Could it have been 100 McNuggets being consumed at one time?  None of these are the correct answer.

Let me give you a little backdrop.  My mother lives in an assisted living facility in Colorado Springs.  She walks 1-1/2 miles per day in the facility’s halls.  She regularly goes to yoga and TiChi.  Her meals are cooked for her so she comes to the beautiful dining room for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  When you come into the dining room, you are exposed to table cloths with cloth napkins and a centerpiece of fresh cut flowers.  Don’t get me wrong, Mother appreciates all of these things, but if she had her choice, she would go to McDonalds for lunch.  That is her favorite place.

Today is her 100th birthday and guess where she wants to celebrate with her family?  You guessed it McDonalds.  Hamburger.  French fries.  Small coke.  No flowers.  No table cloth.  No cloth napkins.  No Frills.  Simple.  Mom is my hero.  Happy Birthday Mom.

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100 At McDonalds

Posted on January 8, 2019 by James Gorton

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Speaking thru Dreams

Posted on January 4, 2019 by James Gorton

Dreams.  Most if not all of us have experienced the phenomenon of going to sleep and waking up the next morning with remembrances of a story that we remembered when we were sleeping the night before.  Some of the dreams are wild and appear to be meaningless.  Some dreams are started by conversations the previous day that we had with someone who triggers our dreams.  It can be an experience we had with a dog the day before that causes us to dream about dogs and other kinds of animals.

Dreams are weird at times.  They can be far-fetched.  I had this recurring dream where I had signed up for a class but don’t remember going to this class.  At the end of the semester I hadn’t done any work and I needed to take the final test but obviously wasn’t prepared.  I couldn’t remember the days of the class but needed the class to graduate.  That dream keeps me agitated throughout the night only to realize that in the morning, I am no longer in school and there will be no negative consequences for my inaction.  Unfortunately I have dreamed that dream many times over the years.

Sometimes dreams aren’t remembered the next morning, or remember some vague thing about the dream but can’t remember the details that were so vivid when we were asleep.  Sometimes we are a bystander just looking at the action, and sometimes we are actively involved in the story.  Sometimes dreams can teach us something or tell us what we need to do as in the case of a story in Genesis that I read this morning.

The backdrop of the story is centered in a foreign country that Abraham and his family went to.  Abraham was fearful that they would take his beautiful wife and kill him so he concocted a story that Sarah, his wife, was his sister.  “Abraham introduced his wife, Sarah, by saying, “She is my sister.” So King Abimelech of Gerar sent for Sarah and had her brought to him at his palace. But that night God came to Abimelech in a dream and told him, “You are a dead man, for that woman you have taken is already married!” But Abimelech had not slept with her yet, so he said, “Lord, will you destroy an innocent nation? Didn’t Abraham tell me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘Yes, he is my brother.’ I acted in complete innocence! My hands are clean.” In the dream God responded, “Yes, I know you are innocent. That’s why I kept you from sinning against me, and why I did not let you touch her. Now return the woman to her husband, and he will pray for you, for he is a prophet. Then you will live. But if you don’t return her to him, you can be sure that you and all your people will die.””  Genesis‬ ‭20:2-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This story and the interaction of Abimelech and God is taking place entirely in the dream that Abimelech.  God does speak to us through the bible, but there are times that He can use a dream to get our attention or direct our steps as well.  On this journey as you enter 2019, when dreams come into your thought process during sleep, make some mental notes as to how God my be using your sleep patterns to give guidance to your steps.

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Taking a Sabbatical

Posted on December 31, 2018 by James Gorton

The last six or so months have been a whirlwind of activity for the Gorton clan.  A business was sold.  Two houses were sold.  Two houses were boxed up for a move.  One house was bought.  A move from Arizona to Colorado was initiated with all of our belongings.

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A heart procedure was performed in Phoenix due to a 95% blockage of my LAD artery (my widow maker artery) the first part of December.  All of our children traveled to Colorado from all over the United States to celebrate Christmas with us.  (Not all of them are in this picture)

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A wedding was performed by me for my middle child after Christmas.  Shall I go further?

All of this activity and more caused me to hold back on writing in my jlog.  I write today, the last day of 2018 and am extremely grateful for the 3 sales, two moves, excellent doctors, wonderful children, and a new place (Castle Rock, Colorado) to continue our journey in a place where my roots began.

I have so much to be thankful for as I look back.  More is in store for me and my family and I pray that as I have been blessed this year, those of you reading this will experience the same blessing of God’s direction.  On this journey, there is and will be many turns in the road, but God is the one who gives guidance to those who seek Him.

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Relational Wisdom: Part V

Posted on July 18, 2018 by James Gorton

I grew up in a very small town in eastern Colorado.  Seibert was a town of 200 including the cats and dogs.  The prime industry was dry-land farming and ranching.  The prime produce was winter wheat that was planted in the fall and harvested the next summer in early to mid July.  Everyone knew one another and supported those who were experiencing difficulties in their families or in their careers.  There was a voluntary fire department where everyone in the community participated when a fire broke out.  Everyone had one another’s back and took action when times of necessity dictated.

We had a similar experience when we moved into Bedford, Massachusetts in the 70’s and 80’s.  It was a new community of which we were the first home to settle.  Everyone who bought after us were given a welcome gift of cookies or a cake as they were moving in.  As more people moved in, others got the idea and did the same for their neighbors.  I remember when a snow storm came and knocked out all the electricity.  All the neighbors came to our house as we were the only one who heated the house with coal.  They brought food over and we cooked hot chili and corn bread on our wood/coal stove.  The next day the electricity was restored, but taking care of the neighborhood was of prime importance.

I say these things because I ran across a passage in the wisdom literature of the Old Testament that gave me pause to think about the neighborhood experiences I’ve been associated with.  “When it is in your power, don’t withhold good from the one to whom it belongs.  Don’t say to your neighbor, ‘Go away!  Come back later.  I’ll give it tomorrow’–when it is there with you.  Don’t plan any harm against your neighbor, for he trusts you and lives near you.  Don’t accuse anyone without cause, when he has done you no harm.”  Proverbs 3:27-30

Neighbors can be a conduit for building family support when we are away from our family of origin.  We have the power to reach out in our neighborhoods and build bridges of connection.  Procrastination of saying “go away and come back later” stunts the support system from being cultivated.

Solomon also talks about being careful about not causing harm against your neighbor.  There was a neighbor feud about 2 miles from our house one time where one neighbor was critical of the cars in the circular drive of another neighbor.  The neighbor who was being accused got so made that he took a real corvette and made a 10 foot stand on the island where the circular drive went around and placed the corvette on top of the stand. It stood there for months in rebellion for what the next door neighbor was mad about.  The moral of the true story is to be careful about bringing accusations against your neighbor.

On this journey, we have been given people who surround us in our living environments who are called neighbors.  Cultivate those relationships rather than bring accusations.  They are potential supporters of you when problems come and vice versa.

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The Windy City

Posted on July 17, 2018 by James Gorton

I think one of the most beautiful pictures an individual can capture is the man-made structures of a city at night with all the lights flickering in the distance.

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Over the course of the last 4-5 days that I have been here in Chicago, I have logged about 60,000 steps, give or take away a few.  When you walk, you see things that you would normally miss when you’re riding the subway, train, bus, or Lyft.  Obviously it takes longer, but walking also challengs you to slow down and see people and the enviroment around you. You say hello to those you walk by. You see a person sitting on the curb for hours who is dealing drugs to others. You see the ambulance driving by taking someone to the hospital. You are able to see shops as you walk by that you would like to frequent in the coming days.

Slowing down allows you to see the beauty of the city in the daytime as well.

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It has been a wonderful experience so far and I am looking forward to the next few days here before I have to fly back to Arizona.

On this journey we all have places to be and things to see. Slowing down to the simpler ways of movement give our eyes a totally different view of our environment. Take a walk today to see the simple things in life.

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Relational Wisdom: Part IV

Posted on July 16, 2018 by James Gorton

Trust  wanes over time.  Let me say that again.  Trust wanes over time.  Here’s a great example, as a baby you have total trust in your parental figures to feed you, change your diaper, put you to sleep, etc.  You trust that when you cry your parents will know what your cry means and do what’s necessary.

As you begin to grow up, you want something and someone says “no” to your desires.  That candy bar is so inviting, and yet your mother or father won’t let you have what you want.  At that point, you begin to question your ability to trust the person in charge to give you your needs, wants, desires.  Your best friend dumps you for another friend and you are left out.  Your trust takes a hit because you can no longer have faith in your friend to have your back.  As life goes on, trust in others takes a hit and you become skeptical in your ability to trust anyone.  In these examples people were not thinking of rattling our trust in them, but the outcome challenged our trust.

There are times when the purpose of an action is to break our trust level like the example of a father I heard about.  He wanted to teach his son about not trusting others.  He puts his son on a chair and told him to jump from the chair to his outstretched arms.  He coached and encouraged his son to jump until the boy finally jumped.  At just the moment where he was about to land safely in the arms of his father, the father put his arms back by his side and allowed the son to fall on his face.  The father replied, “That will teach you never to trust anyone.”

You see, over the years this father had experienced broken trust with others to the point that he didn’t trust anyone and was now teaching his son to do the same.  I’m not suggesting that we emulate the father’s instruction, but through the process of growing up, we get burned by individuals over the years and causes us to move from trusting others in relationships early in life to a place where we become skeptical of being able to trust anyone.

But there is good news. Solomon provided wisdom on how to navigate trust in the book of Proverbs.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).  There is someone out there whom you can trust.  He will never leave you nor will He ever forsake you. You may have (and likely have) been burned by trusting others in your life, but there is One whom you can go to and seek guidance and direction for life from who will never let you down.  He gives understanding to what you are dealing with today and direction for the steps He wants you to take.

This journey can be rough at times when our trust in others is shaken and sometimes broken.  There is One who is trustworthy if only we turn to Him.

 

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Relational Wisdom: Part III

Posted on July 15, 2018 by James Gorton

It seems like we are in a constant process of learning.  Seventy percent of what we will ever know is learned between the ages of 0-3 (at least thats what the experts say).  We learn to eat and talk and increase our vocabulary.  Crawl.  Walk.  Run.  Jump.  Eat with our hands.  Say no.  Say I want.  Cry when we don’t get our way.  Say no.  Say no.  These things are just in the first 3 years of life.  Then comes school where we spend 6-8 yours per day learning about life and history and reading and writing.  We learn to add and subtract; multiply and divide.  I can go on and on.  Sometimes we become so burned out by learning that we stop the process and stop learning.  Yes, it can happen if we choose to close our ears and senses to the process of learning.

Proverbs discourages us from closing our senses to the learning process.  Solomon said,  “Let a wise person listen and increase learning, and let a discerning person obtain guidance.” Proverbs 1:5  Relational wisdom involves a person who is always listening and increasing his/her learning process.  It is a continual process from the time we are born until we die.  I am reminded about an old saying which says, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  The message indicates somewhere along the way an old person (old dog) can no longer listen nor learn.  They can no longer hear words that can give them guidance.  This is a mindset that we choose rather than a foregone conclusion.

I am reminded of a couple who had been married 30 years where the husband was 67 and his wife was 63.  Let’s call them Archie and Edith.  Archie and Edythe came in and Edith said, “Unless you change Archie, I am not going to be married to him another day.”  I asked Archie if he wanted that and he said no, so he began to work on his relationship with Edythe.

One day in session he said something very demeaning to Edith and realized he had cut her down.  It took me 45 minutes to get Archie to apologize to her for what he had said and finally asked for her forgiveness.  He in the 30 years of marriage had never apologized to her in his entire life.  Thirty years.  That was the turning point in their marriage.

About a month later Archie came in to the office with a light bulb hanging around his neck.  I asked him where he got the yellow light bulb and he said that Edith had given it to him.  He wanted to know if I wanted to see it and I said yes so he took it off and gave it to me.  I read it and this is what it said.  “You light up my life.”  Archie had learned to listen and increase his learning and began to take guidance from others.

On this journey, healthy relationships begin when we open our ears and senses to the listen and learning process.  When we are willing to seek guidance from others, unlimited opportunities will open up for us in our relationship with others.

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