Relational Wisdom: Part IV

Trust  wanes over time.  Let me say that again.  Trust wanes over time.  Here’s a great example, as a baby you have total trust in your parental figures to feed you, change your diaper, put you to sleep, etc.  You trust that when you cry your parents will know what your cry means and do what’s necessary.

As you begin to grow up, you want something and someone says “no” to your desires.  That candy bar is so inviting, and yet your mother or father won’t let you have what you want.  At that point, you begin to question your ability to trust the person in charge to give you your needs, wants, desires.  Your best friend dumps you for another friend and you are left out.  Your trust takes a hit because you can no longer have faith in your friend to have your back.  As life goes on, trust in others takes a hit and you become skeptical in your ability to trust anyone.  In these examples people were not thinking of rattling our trust in them, but the outcome challenged our trust.

There are times when the purpose of an action is to break our trust level like the example of a father I heard about.  He wanted to teach his son about not trusting others.  He puts his son on a chair and told him to jump from the chair to his outstretched arms.  He coached and encouraged his son to jump until the boy finally jumped.  At just the moment where he was about to land safely in the arms of his father, the father put his arms back by his side and allowed the son to fall on his face.  The father replied, “That will teach you never to trust anyone.”

You see, over the years this father had experienced broken trust with others to the point that he didn’t trust anyone and was now teaching his son to do the same.  I’m not suggesting that we emulate the father’s instruction, but through the process of growing up, we get burned by individuals over the years and causes us to move from trusting others in relationships early in life to a place where we become skeptical of being able to trust anyone.

But there is good news. Solomon provided wisdom on how to navigate trust in the book of Proverbs.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Proverbs 3:5-6).  There is someone out there whom you can trust.  He will never leave you nor will He ever forsake you. You may have (and likely have) been burned by trusting others in your life, but there is One whom you can go to and seek guidance and direction for life from who will never let you down.  He gives understanding to what you are dealing with today and direction for the steps He wants you to take.

This journey can be rough at times when our trust in others is shaken and sometimes broken.  There is One who is trustworthy if only we turn to Him.


About James Gorton

I am happily married to Nadine, a person I've known for 20+ years. She and her late husband owned Airpark Auto Service where I took my car for years. Four years after my wife died we began dating and the rest is history. We have a blended family of 6 children between us and love visiting them across this country. We recently had our third grandchild between us. We love to hike, bike and ski. I am a psychologist and do relational life coaching for marriages and families primarily. I love what I do and never get tired of seeing marriages and families move to more healthy places in their lives. Five years ago my oldest daughter Deborah encouraged me to begin writing my thought into a blog I call my Jlog (Jim's log). I have become more and more passionate in connecting everyday experiences to spiritual truths. I hope that as you read my Jlog, you will gain insight into your personal life and experience true growth in your personal and relational life.
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