Blame Game

Posted on February 20, 2019 by James Gorton

It is so easy to blame others for their actions that caused us to say something negative or act in a certain unkindly way.  “They were the reason I did such and such.”  “If only they hadn’t acted a certain way, none of this would have been a problem.”  “If only they hadn’t accused me of this, I would have never lashed out at them.”  “They had no right to do the things they did.”  “She made me do it.”  “He made me do it.”  I could go on and on about the blame game that we play today and have played for centuries.  We learned it early in life from our parents and became experts in placing the blame on others.

The earliest occurrence of this blame game came with the first couple on this earth, Adam and Eve.  In Genesis 3, we see the blame game taking place when God told Adam and Eve not to eat of the tree of evil.  Unfortunately they disobeyed God and when confronted, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent.

We find another blame game taking place with Moses, many years later.  Moses was called by God to lead the nation of Israel out of Egypt which Moses did through various miracles performed by God.  When the people grumbled about having no water, God told Moses to strike the rock which he did and water gushed out from the rock (Exodus 17:6)  In Numbers 20 the same scenario occurred where the people grumbled at not having water, so this time God told Moses to speak to the rock.  Rather than speaking to the rock, Moses got mad and struck the rock.  Water came forth from the rock, but the Lord was angry with Moses because he didn’t obey what the Lord had told him to do.

I have always thought that Moses wasn’t allowed to enter the promised land because of this sin of not obeying the Lord when He told him to speak to the rock.  I have revised my thought process based upon the responses of Moses 40 years later when the nation of Israel was about to enter the promised land.  Moses is speaking to the people just before they enter and this is how he describes the event 40 years prior about the water and rock incident.

““And the Lord was also angry with me because of you. He said to me, ‘Moses, not even you will enter the Promised Land!”  ‭‭Deut. ‭1:37‬ ‭NLT‬‬  ““But the Lord was angry with me because of you, and he would not listen to me. ‘That’s enough!’ he declared. ‘Speak of it no more. But go up to Pisgah Peak, and look over the land in every direction. Take a good look, but you may not cross the Jordan River.”  Deut. ‭3:26-27‬ ‭NLT  ““But the Lord was angry with me because of you. He vowed that I would not cross the Jordan River into the good land the Lord your God is giving you as your special possession. You will cross the Jordan to occupy the land, but I will not. Instead, I will die here on the east side of the river.”  Deut.‬ ‭4:21-22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Do you catch what Moses was saying?  “The Lord was angry with me because of you.”  He said it three times.  Moses was blaming the people for not being able to go into the promised land.  There was nothing in his statement about his responsibility.  There was nothing about his lack of obeying what the Lord wanted him to do, “speak to the rock.”  I wonder what would have happened if Moses took responsibility and humbled himself, admitting his wrong and his disobedience?

On this journey there have been many times when we (I) have played the blame game and not taken responsibility of my mistakes.  What God wants is a humble spirit, not one that seeks to blame and justify wrong actions, wrong words, and wrong attitudes.  Humbleness is a forgotten quality that needs to be dusted off for present use.

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Wild but Tame

Posted on February 11, 2019 by James Gorton

Sunday was a wonderful day for Nadine and me.  We went to church and heard a fabulous sermon by our senior pastor and afterward headed to Colorado Springs to visit my mom.  Initially when we got to View Point where she lived we tried to find her but she was nowhere to be found.  She wasn’t downstairs.  She wasn’t in the first hallway that we looked at where she usually walks.  Not in her apartment.  Not in the other hallway.  Finally we went downstairs and checked with the desk who found her visiting a neighbor.  She was up for her favorite place to eat, McDonald’s, so off we went.

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On the way we decided to go by Glen Eyrie, the Navigator’s headquarters to see if we could see any wildlife before lunch.  As we entered the property, we came across about 50 wild turkeys eating by the road.  They weren’t at all spooked by our truck that parked right by the road to take their picture.

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They were at peace because they knew that no one would try to threaten their lives.  Wouldn’t it be nice to live with that feeling of freedom but feel safe knowing that nothing could happen to us?  The fact is that when we are God’s children and have received His Son Jesus Christ, we have the same freedom that these turkeys have with the same feeling of safety that these turkeys had.  God said in Hebrews 13:5 that He would never leave us nor abandon us.  Never.

Today on our journey, be reminded like these turkeys that we have an advocate that goes with us to give us safety and the freedom to move where we want.

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Addicted

Posted on February 7, 2019 by James Gorton

Nadine and I were at the airport the other night and were ready to fly home to Colorado. We love to be 1 1/2 to 2 hours at the airport before our flight leaves so we aren’t stressed like my children who love to push the window of not catching their flights.  Anyway back to the story.

As we were sitting there waiting for our flight, I caught a glimpse across the way four children belonging to one mother, all of them working on electronic gadgets playing games.  The children ranged from 3-7 and all of them were engrossed in competing against the computer for supremacy.  They had been playing for some time with no mother in sight.  I assumed that the older lady sitting a few seats from them was their grandmother which bore out later.  After about 15 minutes, the mother emerged from the airport and wanted them to all go to the bathroom with her before the airplane arrived.  They weren’t having any of that because they were addicted to their games.  She prevailed as they went with her kicking and screaming.

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I later began to look at the staggering studies regarding children who are addicted to video games.  It’s interesting to note that executives of gaming businesses for kids don’t allow their children to go to schools who have ready access to I-pads and tablets.  They don’t want their children exposed to the addictive nature of apps and games for children, yet they spend all of their working days developing apps to lure other children into the addictive cycle of electronics.

Lustig studies found that be it sugar or heroin, the brain responds the same way when exposed to technology.  The brain over-releases dopamine, over-excite and kill neurons, leading to addiction.  I read in another study that kids spend 8-11 hours on electronic equipment every day, more than half of their waking day.  I could go on and on regarding the literature out there about the addictive nature of electronics and social media.

On this journey it is very easy to give a child an electronic device and allow him or her to become engrossed.  It’s an easy baby sitter.  The harder choice is to limit their exposure so that they can develop their minds and bodies in activities that can nurture the soul.  Choose wisely.

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Resentment: Part V-Resolution of Resentment

Posted on January 25, 2019 by James Gorton

For some of you, this was a long drawn out jlog that could have easily been solved by telling this in the beginning.  I do think we need to realize that there are various facets of resentment we need to be aware of.  But the resolution of resentment is what we all would hope for when we find ourselves in situations of being treated unfairly.

Joseph demonstrated the healthy way to deal with resentment after feeling helpless and experiencing the downward spiral of events he had no control of.  He even demonstrated retaliation measures before he turned to the resolution of resentment.

“Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. Then he broke down and wept. He wept so loudly the Egyptians could hear him, and word of it quickly carried to Pharaoh’s palace. “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive?” But his brothers were speechless! They were stunned to realize that Joseph was standing there in front of them. “Please, come closer,” he said to them. So they came closer. And he said again, “I am Joseph, your brother, whom you sold into slavery in Egypt. But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.

God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors. So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt. “Now hurry back to my father and tell him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me master over all the land of Egypt. So come down to me immediately!”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭45:1-5, 7-9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Did you hear the secret of resolving resentment?  Joseph wasn’t looking at the circumstances he had no control of.  He was seeing that it was God who orchestrated his past and present situation.  Joseph mentions God four times.  “IT WAS GOD”.  “GOD HAS SENT ME”.  “IT WAS GOD WHO SENT ME”.  Joseph transformed his past events into realizing that God was the controller of the past and his present.

Moving ahead to where Jacob, the father of the brothers dies.  After the burial, an interesting thing happens.  “But now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said.  (Retaliation at it’s best, or worst).

But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭50:15, 19-21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

On this journey, Romans 8:28 comes to mind when Paul says, “And we know that God causes everything to work together for good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.”  It doesn’t say that all things are good.  There are bad things.  There are good things.  There are things that we are helpless to do anything about.  But God causes everything, the good, the bad, and the ugly, to work together for good.  I hope on your journey that today you can see God working in your situation to cause it to be good for His glory.

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Resentment: Part IV-Wanting Retaliation

Posted on January 24, 2019 by James Gorton

When we have been hurt, our natural tendency is to hurt back.  When we have been punched, we want to punch back.  When we have been criticized, we want to criticize the person who criticized us.  When we have been put down, our natural tendency is to put that person down.  Retaliation. Retaliating by inflicting physical or emotional or verbal pain that has been inflicted upon us.

This is a seemingly ingrained attitude we have from our earliest childhood memory.  When our parents tell us “NO” on something that we want, we at that moment feel helpless in getting our desired outcome and we respond by saying “NO” to them.  It’s a natural response, not necessarily a healthy one.  The retaliation reaction feels good at the time but never eventuates in solving the problem.  Retaliation only escalates the situation and further removes us from finding a solution that is lasting and enduring.

Looking back at Joseph we see a man who wanted and did retaliate for the pain that his brothers had caused.  Joseph was a godly man and was used by God to bring about salvation for the future nation of Israel, but his resentment toward his brothers got the better of him.  The story picks up where Joseph has interpreted Pharaohs’ dreams of a famine coming and what he needs to do to get ready for the famine.  Pharaoh puts Joseph in charge of Egypt in collecting food  for 7 years so that when the 7 years of famine come, the country will be ready.  Egypt is in the 2 year of famine and Joseph recognized his brothers coming from Canaan to get food.

“Joseph recognized his brothers instantly, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. “Where are you from?” he demanded. “From the land of Canaan,” they replied. “We have come to buy food.”

But Joseph insisted, “As I said, you are spies! This is how I will test your story. I swear by the life of Pharaoh that you will never leave Egypt unless your youngest brother comes here! (The brothers revealed to Joseph that one brother was left behind with the father.  The one brother happened to be the full brother of Joseph.)  One of you must go and get your brother. I’ll keep the rest of you here in prison. Then we’ll find out whether or not your story is true. By the life of Pharaoh, if it turns out that you don’t have a younger brother, then I’ll know you are spies.” So Joseph put them all in prison for three days.”

After three days he brought all the brothers out and told them he would only take one of them and put him in prison.  The others were free to leave.  “Now he turned away from them and began to weep. When he regained his composure, he spoke to them again. Then he chose Simeon from among them and had him tied up right before their eyes.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭42:7, 14-17, 24‬ ‭NLT‬‬

As you continue to read further in the story, Joseph continue to be a goad to them and retaliate for all the pain and suffering he had to endure by being forced from his brothers and his dad.  This retaliation lasted for several months with Simon being kept in prison.

Retaliation has short-term pleasures but there is also pain involved as we see Joseph turning away and weeping for what he was doing.  On this journey, we can remove the desire for retaliation and look at our circumstances differently.  Resolution of resentment is the healthiest direction to head which we will talk about in Part V.

Next:  Part V-Resolution of Resentment

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Resentment: Part III-The Downward Spiral

Posted on January 23, 2019 by James Gorton

There are times when the feeling of helplessness has only one event that can contribute to the feeling of resentment.  There are other times when the event is combined with similar situations that multiply our feeling of helplessness.  I need to stop here for a moment.  Sometimes that event is preceded by something we said or did that caused the reaction.  In the case of the automobile I described in Part II, I had nothing to do with the driver of the car losing control and coming over in my lane and hitting me.  In the case of my girlfriend who wrote me a dear Jim letter, I did have something to do with her coming to the conclusion that she needed to break off the relationship.

I remember a time when I was working at a church as a pastor of young adults and made some unwise decisions that came to life by my boss.  I was put on probation and he began to look at my every move and every decision that I made.  He went from seeing what I did from a telescopic perspective to a microscopic perspective.  I felt helpless in making any decisions, as he was in total control of what I did.  It seemed like I was in a downward spiral and nothing that I said or did made any difference in the way he looked at me.

When we look at the life of Joseph, we see a similar spiral.  After being put in the cistern, the brothers decided to sell him to slave traders so they could make a profit for him, rather than just killing him. (Genesis 37:25-28)  He was taken down to Egypt where he was sold as a slave to Potiphar, an officer of Pharaoh.

He did well for himself as a slave until the boss’s wife accused him of raping her after she couldn’t get him to sleep with her.  He was accused of something he didn’t do, but was helpless to do anything about it or clear his name.  (Genesis 39:1-19)  He was put in prison and was held there for 2+ years for a crime he didn’t commit.

On this journey we may find yourselves in a helplessness situation where it seems that event after event causes us to stay pinned to our helpless estate with no seeming end in sight.  It’s like we’re in a tunnel with no light at the end of the tunnel.  We have a choice when we find ourselves in this place.  Taking a wrong turn leads us to the next unhealthy phase of resentment.

Next:  Part IV:  Resentment-Wanting Retaliation

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Resentment: Part II–The Feeling of Helplessness

Posted on January 22, 2019 by James Gorton

Helplessness is not a good feeling.  I remember driving in New Hampshire in the winter time many years ago and came upon a slick patch of pavement.  I had my seatbelt on when a car coming from the opposite direction begin to lose control.  The car was a big hunker station wagon and I had a Chevy Monza two door.  The car was out of control, went into an embankment and then headed across the road headed right for my little tin can of a car.  I never felt so helpless as when the car came into my lane and hit me head on.  I could do nothing about avoiding the accident.    I was helpless.

I remember dating a young lady in college by the name of Karen.  She was beautiful and I had said to my friends that she was the one I was going to marry.  One day she invited me to the Cantina, a fast food vending machine eatery on our college campus.  We sat down and she took out a piece of paper with her hand written letter.  As she began to read the letter to me, it was evident that she had written a Dear John (Jim) letter and was breaking up with me.  At that moment I felt helpless.  There was nothing I could say as she had made up her mind.  I felt totally helpless to fix or repair the broken relationship.  Helplessness.

There are numerous times in my life when the circumstances of life create a feeling of being helpless.  In those times there is nothing you can do.  Joseph felt those same feelings.  When his brothers threw him into the dry well with no rope to get out, he found himself in a helpless state (Genesis 37:24)  No water.  No rope.  No ladder.  No way to get out.  He had no control for the circumstances he was facing.  He felt helpless.

Helplessness is a feeling that comes to us when we are found with circumstances that are unpleasant,  unfair, and out of our control.  Our negative feelings regarding our helpless estate create an attitude that can begin to germinate resentment feelings.

On this journey, when you find yourself in similar situations, it is important to not allow your thought process to turn in the wrong direction.  Part III will focus on the wrong direction of helplessness.

Next:  Resentment:  Part III The downward spiral.

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Resentment: Part I–What Is It

Posted on January 21, 2019 by James Gorton

Resentment is a common emotion that most of us have experienced on this journey of life.  There are many triggers that cause resentment to surface in our lives.  A job we had where we got fired or layed-off for no apparent reason.  A love relationship where we were totally committed and our significant other decided to call it quits and we didn’t know why.  Being unfairly untreated by a friend or co-worker and never had the opportunity to make it right.  Feeling like our parents gave preferential treatment to our siblings and when we raised our concerns, they were never listened to or dealt with.

So what is resentment?  The dictionary describes resentment as a bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.  It’s a mixture of disappointment, anger and fear. (Wikipedia)  A bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.  For a season or longer. There are two critical elements in the building up of resentment.  The first involves a person or persons who are acting against us in some way.  The second element involves a response on our part to an action, attitude, or statement that is acted out.  Resentment often builds over time when the unfair treatment continues to manifest itself with no solution in sight.  Resentment doesn’t come after the first unfair act.  Anger is usually the emotion that surfaces.  It happens when the action is repeated over and over or the perpetrator doesn’t take responsibility for their actions which causes us to begin to ruminate on the unfair act.

A bible character who comes to mind that dealt with resentment was a man by the name of Joseph.  He was the second youngest of 12 brothers, with 4 different mothers and a father of all of them, Jacob.  Joseph was the favored one of the 12 primarily because he was the first-born of Jacob’s favorite wife, Rachel.  Resentment began to occur in Joseph when his brothers had had enough of his entitlement and sold him to slave traders who took him down to Egypt.  His resentment began to percolate in Egypt as he thought about what they had done.  He was 17 and forced from his home.  He couldn’t interact with his father whom he loved.  He didn’t have the luxury of the niceties that his father allowed him to experience.  He was a slave.  He was accused of raping his master’s wife and thrown in prison.  He had no control of the circumstances that continued to spiral down and out of control.  The story begins in Genesis 37 and continues for several chapters.

On this journey there will be situations that are unfair.  There will be people who treat us with disrespect and judge us harshly.  Anger is a common emotion that emerges from these interactions.  It’s when anger is not processed correctly that allows resentment to begin to grow.

Next Part:  Feeling of helplessness

 

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Rescue Rabbit

Posted on January 16, 2019 by James Gorton

Nadine and I were in our basement watching a very important game.  Patriots vs. Chargers.  Living in New England for seven years causes one to begin to adopt the professional teams in the area (that is if you are a sports fan.  If you aren’t don’t stop listening to this jlog because the story has nothing to do with this introduction).  The basement has a few windows with window wells about 6 feet from the surface of the outside.  She heard a thump and went over to the window well to see what happened.  We had a cover on this window well, but it had been moved slightly and this rabbit fell into the well.

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Had we not been in the basement when we were, we would have never heard the thump and the rabbit would have probably passed from this earth.  We had to do something so I rigged up a long pole with a fly fishing net on the end of the pole.  The bottom of the well is 6+feet deep so there is no way the rabbit could escape.  I taped the net on the end of the pole and proceeded to begin the rescue.

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After a couple of tries, I got the rabbit into the net and hauled it to the surface where it immediately jumped out of the net and scurried away.  Successful rescue.

I am reminded of the passage in the bible where it says that not one sparrow falls to the ground without the Lord’s knowledge.  I guess that goes for rabbits and all of His creation.  On our journey we will be called upon to care for God’s creatures and today was the day for me.  He will orchestrate your steps in such a way as to place you in the right place at the right time.  If He cares for the animals and birds, won’t He much more care for you?  Luke 12:6+

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The Greatest Invention

Posted on January 15, 2019 by James Gorton

I grew up in eastern Colorado and did my undergraduate education at the University of Northern Colorado.  In all the years of growing up physically, I always had one thing in my hand when it came to white stuff falling from the sky.  It was a shovel.  My grandma Gorton lived next door so when the snow came, I would get out and shovel our walks and patio as well as shoveling all the way over to my grandmas house and shovel her walks in the process.  I was young so it was no big deal to shovel over 100 yards of concrete every time it snowed.  Sometimes it was harder than others if the snow was wet or measured over a foot.

Sometimes it would pack in so tight that I would have to cut a block of snow in increments of a cubic yard to remove it from the concrete.  Never in my growing up years did I ever think of removing snow other than with a shovel.

I left Colorado in 1972 after graduating from college and moved all over the country.  Texas.  Tennessee.  Florida.  Massachusetts.  Beirut, Lebanon.  Arizona.  46 years gone.

This last fall, we moved back to Colorado.  Back to my roots.  Back to 4 seasons.  Back to snow.  But this time I decided based upon my age to invest in a new invention (for me) that would take care of the snow when it falls.  A snow-blower.

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It is the most awesome invention I have ever experienced.  In fact I have used the snow-blower three times and have not only cleaned off my driveway, but I have cleaned off the next door neighbor to the left of us, cleaned the sidewalks down the street for 4 other houses, and have snow-blowed the elderly gentleman who lost his wife a year ago across the street.  I am doing every thing I did as a child, but with much less effort and much more fun.

On this journey, there will be times when we have the opportunity to bring joy to others by doing something as little as moving snow.  It might just bring you joy as you do for others.

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