Resentment: Part II–The Feeling of Helplessness


Helplessness is not a good feeling.  I remember driving in New Hampshire in the winter time many years ago and came upon a slick patch of pavement.  I had my seatbelt on when a car coming from the opposite direction begin to lose control.  The car was a big hunker station wagon and I had a Chevy Monza two door.  The car was out of control, went into an embankment and then headed across the road headed right for my little tin can of a car.  I never felt so helpless as when the car came into my lane and hit me head on.  I could do nothing about avoiding the accident.    I was helpless.

I remember dating a young lady in college by the name of Karen.  She was beautiful and I had said to my friends that she was the one I was going to marry.  One day she invited me to the Cantina, a fast food vending machine eatery on our college campus.  We sat down and she took out a piece of paper with her hand written letter.  As she began to read the letter to me, it was evident that she had written a Dear John (Jim) letter and was breaking up with me.  At that moment I felt helpless.  There was nothing I could say as she had made up her mind.  I felt totally helpless to fix or repair the broken relationship.  Helplessness.

There are numerous times in my life when the circumstances of life create a feeling of being helpless.  In those times there is nothing you can do.  Joseph felt those same feelings.  When his brothers threw him into the dry well with no rope to get out, he found himself in a helpless state (Genesis 37:24)  No water.  No rope.  No ladder.  No way to get out.  He had no control for the circumstances he was facing.  He felt helpless.

Helplessness is a feeling that comes to us when we are found with circumstances that are unpleasant,  unfair, and out of our control.  Our negative feelings regarding our helpless estate create an attitude that can begin to germinate resentment feelings.

On this journey, when you find yourself in similar situations, it is important to not allow your thought process to turn in the wrong direction.  Part III will focus on the wrong direction of helplessness.

Next:  Resentment:  Part III The downward spiral.

About James Gorton

I am happily married to Nadine, a person I've known for 20+ years. She and her late husband owned Airpark Auto Service where I took my car for years. Four years after my wife died we began dating and the rest is history. We have a blended family of 6 children between us and love visiting them across this country. We recently had our third grandchild between us. We love to hike, bike and ski. I am a psychologist and do relational life coaching for marriages and families primarily. I love what I do and never get tired of seeing marriages and families move to more healthy places in their lives. Five years ago my oldest daughter Deborah encouraged me to begin writing my thought into a blog I call my Jlog (Jim's log). I have become more and more passionate in connecting everyday experiences to spiritual truths. I hope that as you read my Jlog, you will gain insight into your personal life and experience true growth in your personal and relational life.
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