Rewinding The Film


Over the weekend Nadine and I decided we wanted to go to the movies. As we looked at the choices, we decided on The Big Short and wanted to go to the new movie theaters that had lounge chairs to check them out. Like most movies we figured out the time that we could be there and still get good seats (45 minutes before the movie started).

On our way to the movies we encountered a little traffic that added 3-5 minutes to the trip, but were confident that we would be there in plenty of time. The parking garage was full of cars that were leaving and those that were coming to the movies which added about 10 minutes to the adventure. We got in line to purchase our tickets which took 3-5 minutes and were ready in plenty of time with 25-30 minutes to spare. To our dismay, The Big Short was sold out. Spotlight sold out. 13 Hours sold out. All of the movies that we were interested in watching were sold out. No seats. Zero. The Big Short had 4 seats available for the show that started 3 hours later. As we debated about taking them, 2 were taken off the computer, so we made a hasty decision and said we’d take the last two.

Now we had to kill 3 hours before the next showing. For many the place would have been an ideal place to kill 3 hours. Scottsdale Fashion Square. Hundreds of stores. Every store had a 50%-75% sale. The problem surfaced in the fact that Nadine and I had no desire to shop. I became frustrated by the experience we had just encountered and Nadine felt bad and attacked my me. It wasn’t my intention to take out my frustration on her. It was neither one of our faults regarding the situation. We didn’t know the best way to buy tickets for this theater and had an eye opening learning experience.

Now this could have been a 3 hour horrible experience for the two of us. The friction between the two of us could have intensified. Nadine could have shot back at me and caused bigger issues to ensue. But she didn’t. She verbalized her feeling of being hurt by my expressing my frustration and I quickly apologized to her. I told her that I was wrong for getting upset at the situation and directing my frustration at her. I asked for her forgiveness and she gave it.

For the next 2 1/2 hours we strolled the halls of the mall, hand in hand and heart to heart. We were connected emotionally even though we were both tired when the movie screen lit up. Re-writing the film (taking life as it comes and changing destructive aspects of that life to reconnect with those you love) in relationships is an important tool for not allowing WWIII to break out. It takes only a small bit of time to admit wrongdoing and rewrite a film so that connection and intimacy in your relationship occurs.

On this journey make it your commitment to rewrite your film that is going in the wrong direction.

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About James Gorton

I am happily married to Nadine, a person I've known for 20+ years. She and her late husband owned Airpark Auto Service where I took my car for years. Four years after my wife died we began dating and the rest is history. We have a blended family of 6 children between us and love visiting them across this country. We recently had our third grandchild between us. We love to hike, bike and ski. I am a psychologist and do relational life coaching for marriages and families primarily. I love what I do and never get tired of seeing marriages and families move to more healthy places in their lives. Five years ago my oldest daughter Deborah encouraged me to begin writing my thought into a blog I call my Jlog (Jim's log). I have become more and more passionate in connecting everyday experiences to spiritual truths. I hope that as you read my Jlog, you will gain insight into your personal life and experience true growth in your personal and relational life.
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