Stalemate


Over the Christmas holidays, my oldest daughter came from Chicago (-5) to sunny Scottsdale (70) with her dog Tiffany.  Tiffany is a Cavalier King Charles spaniel like Monty, our dog.  They get along fairly well except when it comes to food.  Monty gobbles us his food and wants more.  On this particular day, Deborah had just fed Tiffany, or at least put her food in the bowl.  We came around the corner and saw this site.

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As you can see, Tiffany, on the right, is not interested in eating her food at the moment, but she sure is not going to let Monty eat it either.  Stalemate.  Neither of them budged.  They sat there for several minutes with no one making a move to eat the food.  She was determined he wasn’t going to eat the food, but she didn’t want the food either.  Cavalier King Charles standoff.

How often do we experience the same type of picture in our relationships with others.  There is a difficulty or an obstacle blocking us from having connection with one another and neither party is willing to budge to seek reconciliation.  The longer the standoff, the more distant we become to our significant other.  Assumptions build in our mind and the problem increases in intensity and complexity.

Jesus spoke to this stalemate in Matthew 5 and Matthew 18 when it comes to problems that come between friends, spouses, business associates, children, relatives, etc.  In Matthew 5:23-25 I am the one who has wronged another person.  Jesus mandate to me is to go to the person I have wronged and apologize for what I have done before doing anything else.  I need to GO.  It’s my move

In Matthew 18:15-18 the situation is just reversed.  Someone has wronged me.  So what is my responsibility when it’s not my fault?  Jesus says in the passage that it is my move to go the person who has wronged me and face them with the purpose of seeking to be reconciled with that person.  Again it’s MY MOVE.  I need to GO.

On this journey in 2014, it’s my commitment to break down the pride in my life and take the first move irrespective of what the problem is and not find myself in the picture of two King Charles dogs not willing to give an inch.  How about you this coming year?  What will be your resolution in dealing with problems that come your way?  Transformation can only come when we allow God’s word to change the way we have done things.

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About James Gorton

I am happily married to Nadine, a person I've known for 20+ years. She and her late husband owned Airpark Auto Service where I took my car for years. Four years after my wife died we began dating and the rest is history. We have a blended family of 6 children between us and love visiting them across this country. We recently had our third grandchild between us. We love to hike, bike and ski. I am a psychologist and do relational life coaching for marriages and families primarily. I love what I do and never get tired of seeing marriages and families move to more healthy places in their lives. Five years ago my oldest daughter Deborah encouraged me to begin writing my thought into a blog I call my Jlog (Jim's log). I have become more and more passionate in connecting everyday experiences to spiritual truths. I hope that as you read my Jlog, you will gain insight into your personal life and experience true growth in your personal and relational life.
This entry was posted in God Relationship, Parental Relationship, Relationships in General, Spousal Relationship and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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