Friendship Gone Sour

Friday June 24, 2011

Friendships are wonderful. They bring support when you are going through the rials of life. They bring laughter to situations that need humor. Friendships bring a listening ear when we need to vent. Phone calls from a friend for nothing at all but just to say “hi” perk up our day and give our step an extra bounce. Advice from a friend for decisions we have to make can bring a sense of confidence that we are going in the right direction, or can change a bad choice into a better one. Friends tell us what we need to hear, not necesssarily what we want to hear. They bring light to our darkness. They bring comfort so that we can experience rest. True friendships are essential for life and health. That is why God said in the garden that it is not good for man to be alone. He realized even when man had not sinned that friendship was an essential element for being able to enjoy His creation.

If friendships are so important, how devastating it is when your true friends turn on you and become your enemy. David experienced this horrible delimma when he said, “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshipers.” (Psalm 55:12-14 NIV). David experienced verbal insults from his friend as well as actions of rising up against him. How painful it must have been to have a close friend insult him with verbal insults. Have you ever experienced a friend, a close friend turn on you and have them insult you? I have and it’s like a knife being pushed into your belly. I think it’s the worst non physical pain I have ever had to experience (I’m not into blood as I will become woozy when anyone talks about their blood experience–I’m a pansy). But for David, not only did he have his close friend insult him verbally, but he took negative actions against David and tried to destroy him like an enemy would.

What would make a close friend turn on you and become your enemy? Jealousy has driven close friends to turn affirmations and support into destructive actions and insults. Changes in our lifestyle and our circumstances could be another factor in our friends turning on us. A more sobering factor could be our own problem of doing something wrong to our friend and not stepping up to the plate and admitting our wrong to them. Friendships are truly a precious gift we have and we need to work to cultivate our friendships in this world.

On this journey, count your blessings with the friends you have to walk with on His path for your life.

About James Gorton

I am happily married to Nadine, a person I've known for 20+ years. She and her late husband owned Airpark Auto Service where I took my car for years. Four years after my wife died we began dating and the rest is history. We have a blended family of 6 children between us and love visiting them across this country. We recently had our third grandchild between us. We love to hike, bike and ski. I am a psychologist and do relational life coaching for marriages and families primarily. I love what I do and never get tired of seeing marriages and families move to more healthy places in their lives. Five years ago my oldest daughter Deborah encouraged me to begin writing my thought into a blog I call my Jlog (Jim's log). I have become more and more passionate in connecting everyday experiences to spiritual truths. I hope that as you read my Jlog, you will gain insight into your personal life and experience true growth in your personal and relational life.
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