Negative Words


Friday, February 25, 2011

Parenting is a nonstop job. There are infinite areas where ones skills need to come into play in seeking to place a child on the right road and keep that child there. Yesterday I got a call from one of Carter’s teachers saying that he had a couple of unturned in assignments that she wanted me to be aware of. I made an assumption that he hadn’t taken care of it so when he got home we had a hard conversation. It took some time but we eventually got it worked out as he told me it was assignments that he had when he was sick and had turned them in that day. I hadn’t gotten all the facts and jumped to a conclusion that caused some tears in the process. It’s hard to parent. It’s a full-time profession. It’s especially hard when you don’t have all the facts.

He asked me the question after we worked out the problem that caused me some to step back and take a look at myself. His question was, “Dad, why did you jump on this issue when all the other grades of mine are B’s and A’s?” He had me. It was an excellent question and one I had no immediate answer. I did give him an answer about having a car with three tires that have air in them and one that is flat. You don’t focus on the three that are pumped up but you focus on fixing the flat tire. It seemed to give him an answer to his question, but it still lingers in my mind as to why in those situations I so quickly go to the negative.

I could say it was because it was what I heard when I was growing up with my father. I could say that it was a long day and I was saying it out of being tired. I could blame him for not getting in his work, and if he only had his work in I wouldnt have to get on his case. But the fact is all of those are excuses for my not working on being positive. If you have time read Ephesians 4:29 where Paul talks about using negative or unwholesome words versus using words that are positive and edifying or uplifting to the person you are talking about. In fact, Paul says that no negative words should ever come out of your mouth.

I have work to do on this journey.

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About James Gorton

I am happily married to Nadine, a person I've known for 20+ years. She and her late husband owned Airpark Auto Service where I took my car for years. Four years after my wife died we began dating and the rest is history. We have a blended family of 6 children between us and love visiting them across this country. We recently had our third grandchild between us. We love to hike, bike and ski. I am a psychologist and do relational life coaching for marriages and families primarily. I love what I do and never get tired of seeing marriages and families move to more healthy places in their lives. Five years ago my oldest daughter Deborah encouraged me to begin writing my thought into a blog I call my Jlog (Jim's log). I have become more and more passionate in connecting everyday experiences to spiritual truths. I hope that as you read my Jlog, you will gain insight into your personal life and experience true growth in your personal and relational life.
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One Response to Negative Words

  1. Shela-Lyn Boxberger says:

    Amen to this! I think every parent has been in your shoes…I sure know I have! I try to use Phil 4:8 as my plumbline when evaluating life’s issues/circumstances but I confess I too have a lot of work to do on this journey.

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