Birthday Boy

Posted on February 20, 2016 by James Gorton

When you have a blended family with a mom and dad, 6 children, and 3 grandchildren, birthdays are going to come on a regular basis.  This weekend was no exception with Keaton, Victoria’s son, turning 3.  Debi, my oldest daughter, flew in from Chicago for the celebration.  My children all decided to meet up at Scottsdale Fashion Square to get something to eat.  Have you ever tried to do a consensus on where to eat with 8 opinionated people (well Keaton who is three is exempt as he could care less where to eat–just give him french fries).

What happened next was a miracle.  I remembered Johnny Rockets and suggested we go there for supper.  I got no negative responses.  Even my picky daughter who is very selective in her eating habits didn’t wince when I made the suggestion.  As you can see in the picture we have some real clowns in our family and Carter’s friend Louis participated in the fun experience.

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What was so wonderful to me is that with all the activities that are represented by the people in the picture, each put a priority on getting together and being a part of family.  It’s all about relationships.  Family relationships.  Friend relationships.

On this journey, take time to connect with your family.  Put your family as a priority.  It’s the only family that you have.

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Changing God’s Mind

Posted on February 15, 2016 by James Gorton

I grew up with a healthy view of God as I compared God to my dad.  I did respect my father in so many ways.  He was a man of integrity.  He was well respected in the community and had a great reputation for doing the right thing.  All the elderly women would call him to fix a heater, or put on the screens of a house, or winterize their pipes.  He was a master of a lot of things.  There was one thing that I didn’t see in my dad.  When he made up his mind, you weren’t going to change it.  It was his way or the highway.

I did believe that God was a loving God and had wonderful attributes.  I didn’t believe that His mind could be changed and that you had to just go along with His plan.  I have since changed my perspective of God as I have walked with Him for decades.  One of the reasons my perspective has changed is a passage I read a couple of days ago.  It is a story of the Israelite nation being led out of Egypt and into the promised land.  They are in the desert and God calls Moses up to the mountain to talk with him and to give him not only the Ten Commandments, but directions as to how to make and erect a tabernacle (tent of meeting with God).  Moses is on the mountain for 40 days and the people of Israel get restless.  They don’t think that Moses is coming back, so they go to Aaron, Moses’s brother, and ask him to make an idol to put their trust in.  Aaron does what they ask by taking their gold jewelry, melting it down, and forming a calf with his hands so they can have something to worship.

God sees what they are doing and begins to interact with Moses on the mountain.  “Go up to the land flowing with milk and honey. But I will not go with you, because you are a stiff-necked people and I might destroy you on the way.”. . .For the Lord had said to Moses, “Tell the Israelites, ‘You are a stiff-necked people. If I were to go with you even for a moment, I might destroy you. Now take off your ornaments and I will decide what to do with you.’ ” Exodus 33:3, 5.  God first says that He is not going to go with them into the promised land.  He then in the next passage says that He is in the process of deciding what to do.  God is not hard and fast in His decision making process but is waiting to see how we handle the situations that we are put into.

When Moses hears this from God, he responds to God by saying, “If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.” The Lord replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here.” Exodus 33:13-15  Moses is more interested in knowing the Lord and finding favor with the Lord than in accomplishing what was promised by the Lord.  To really know the Lord and experience His favor should be the most important action we take when we first wake up, as we move throughout the day and when we go to bed.

Moses was in hook, line and sinker in his relationship with the Lord and to that, God responded.   “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”” Exodus 33:17  God changed His mind because He saw  Moses totally devoted to knowing Him.

On this journey we have the privilege of knowing the Lord and finding favor with Him.  It means that we have to be totally surrendered to Him and His will.  For Moses, it was a process of getting there.  You can take the next step in your journey today in becoming totally sold out for the Master.
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Big Stories

Posted on February 12, 2016 by James Gorton

I love my oldest grandson to death (I don’t know where this saying came from but it just came to my mind so I’m using it).  He loves sports and especially football.  He plays football when he is watching it on TV.  When he sees the lineman get down in their three point stance, he does the same.  When he sees a running back take the ball and a run thru the line he does the same. He eats,  dreams and thinks of football.  Victoria, his mom, says she’s never going to let him play football, but time will tell on that edict.  Anyway back to my story.

He comes into the house and says that he has a football game with the Patriots and the Broncos and he’s on the Bronco team.  Or he will say that his Dolphins just beat the Steelers. He has a vivid imagination.  Kids do that.  They tell you things that are not true. The dilemma is what to challenge and what to let go.  You don’t want your child or grandchild to lie, but you don’t want to kill their imagination.

My grandson and his vivid imagination came to my mind when I was reading in the bible of another person who told big stories and had a vivid imagination.  It took place in the wilderness after the Lord had directed the nation of Israel by the hands of Moses and Aaron out of Egypt.  They had come thru the Red Sea and caused the Egyptian army to drown and Israel to be saved on the other side.  God wanted the nation to follow certain rules and guidelines so he called Moses up to the top of the mountain to get instructions.  He directed the people to stay in camp while Moses was gone.

The problem arose when the people begin to imagine that Moses wasn’t coming back, so they went to Aaron to erect a god that they could worship, because the God that brought them out of slavery was no where to be seen.  Aaron asked for all their jewelry.  “He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, “These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.””‭‭Exodus‬ 32:4  You can read the rest of the passage, but God recognized what they were doing and sent Moses down the mountain to see for himself what had happened.  Moses said to Aaron,  “What did these people do to you, that you led them into such great sin?” “Do not be angry, my lord,” Aaron answered. “You know how prone these people are to evil. They said to me, ‘Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.’ So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!””‭‭Exodus‬ ‭32:21-24‬ ‭

Did you pick up on the last statement of Aaron?  “. . .I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf.”  That is a vivid imagination.  I’ve thrown stuff into a fire, and nothing resembling  a calf came out.  In fact, nothing of what I threw in the fire survived.  The jewelers would be ecstatic if they threw gold into the fire and out came a ring, a bracelet, earrings, chains.

What I see God wanted Aaron to come to grips with was what really happened.  He blew it.  He didn’t want some fabricated story ,but the truth.  In relationships, when one of our loved ones makes a mistake, don’t you want the truth rather than some big story that you nor anyone else believes.  Moses for sure didn’t believe what Aaron was saying and neither does God.

On this journey there will be times when we make mistakes by doing something wrong or saying something wrong or having attitudes that are unhealthy.  The best road to take is to admit our mistakes rather than complicating the situation by telling big stories.

 

 

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Get Over Yourself

Posted on February 11, 2016 by James Gorton

Nadine and I have a wonderful relationship, but the relationship is not free of conflict.  I can tell you unreservedly that there isn’t a single issue that hasn’t been resolved.  We at this second are free from any disconnect, but I can’t guarantee that there won’t be a conflict in the near future.  We have been single focused to deal with and resolve any and every issue that causes us to emotionally or relationally separate.

I’m saying all this to set the stage of a conflict we had last night, and to give you a new insight that might be helpful to those who are reading this jlog (Jim’s log).  I won’t get into the details of the issue, but Nadine said something that was hurtful to me and caused me to emotionally disconnect.  She became aware of my distance and asked me what was wrong.  I told her that what she said was hurtful and for a little while she sought to justify her actions and bring up other issues that were never part of issues that caused my hurt.  (You may be thinking that the title of the jlog centers on this issue.  I am hurt and that I need to get over myself.  Be a bigger man and don’t let what she says hurt me.  You might see that I need to just move on and don’t make mountains out of mole hills.  That is not the gist of the jlog.  This is the farthest from the truth.  When someone says something that hurts you, you have a right to be hurt.  There is nothing wrong with being hurt by words or actions of another person.  It’s how you process that hurt that is important and that is what I want to discuss.)

After a bit of discussion, she got what she had said and why it hurt me and apologized for hurting me.  There are two forks that I could go down at this point in seeking to resolve the problem.  Unfortunately, I hate to admit this first fork that I have used in the past and am admitting it.  Mind you, I haven’t used this fork always, but I have used it more than I should have.  This fork involves getting the other person to feel the pain that they caused me.  In the past I have used silence and not given forgiveness to allow them to wallow in their remorse.  This is not a healthy way of dealing with someone who is asking for forgiveness, but unfortunately I have used this tool.  Getting over yourself is releasing your hurt WHEN the person who has hurt you admits their wrong and is willing to ask forgiveness for it.

Rather than taking the first fork, I chose the second fork and immediately accepted her forgiveness.  I told her that I understood what her motive was in saying what she did. (Nadine rarely has a motive or intention to hurt me or anyone else.  In fact, I can’t think of a time when her motive has been to hurt me.)  We immediately reconnected and the issue was resolved, causing us to grow closer to one another.  We had a great day and are still connected as I write this jlog.

On this journey, forks will be a part of our decision making skills.  Choose wisely the right fork to stay connected to those you love.

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BRONCOS WIN

Posted on February 8, 2016 by James Gorton

What a game?  Broncos 24 Carolina 10.  I have been a rabid Bronco fan forever.  I grew up in Colorado and was all about playing sports from my earliest remembrances.  My whole family was involved with sports beginning with my Grandma Gorton who was 92 when she died.  She knew every Bronco, what positions they played and followed them whether they won or lost.

Taking you up to yesterday, my whole family was involved in the Super Bowl experience.  My mom lives in Colorado Springs and went over to my sisters for the Super Bowl experience.  My sister sent one of the sweetest pictures I have seen of my 97 year old mother and my sister.

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Swinging eastward, my oldest daughter is carrying on the Bronco tradition even though she lives in Chicago Bear country.  She had 30 people over to her house to watch the Broncos win.  She is the one with all the Bronco gear on.

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Back in Scottsdale, we had a small Super Bowl party at our house with Victoria and the two grandkids.  It’s good to start a Bronco legacy when they are young.  It was intense as you can see on all of our faces, but we WON.

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What a great day to celebrate with all of the other Bronco Nation Fans.  SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS

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False Influencers

Posted on February 8, 2016 by James Gorton

I had a very interesting workout a couple of days ago.  My normal routine is to take and listen to my bluetooth earplugs and my music from my iPhone.  When I got to my workout place, I put my earplugs on, turned them on and was about to turn on the music when I realized something.  I forgot my cell phone with my music.  No Jason Mraz.  No Beach Boys.  No Kenny G.  No Shania Twain.  No Eagles.  No Rippingtons.  I was going have to workout on the elliptical without any music to help me get through the workout.  I closed my eyes and began to step.

I began to hear two women on my right side talk about their bodies.  I never opened my eyes so I had no idea what they looked like or how old they were.  But I was drawn to their discussions.  They were talking about a woman they both knew.  They described this woman as a 54 year old tall, good looking, slender female who knew that she was attractive.  As they described her, they began to compare themselves with this woman and came up deficient.  They described her as someone who purported her beauty as she walked and caused these women to feel distain for their own bodies.

About this time a man came up and infused himself in the conversation.  During this time I had my eyes closed so I didn’t get a visual of this person either.  He made some flirtatious comments as well as remarks about other women who were working out in the gym. They bantered back and forth for a few minutes and he left.  One woman said to the other woman, “He sure doesn’t know how to make a woman feel good, does he?”  The other woman affirmed the remark and said her goodbyes.

I never got a picture of these women, but I heard the picture they were giving themselves as they compared themselves with another woman that wasn’t even there.  They also took  a comment by a man who dropped by and took it in a negative way about themselves.  Words and comparisons can be false influencers in the way we look about ourselves.  Words that have innocent connotations can be taken so wrong when our own perspective about ourselves is skewed.  When we compare ourselves with others who we think are better than us or prettier than us, we will lose.  These I call false influencers.

In II Cor. 10:12, Paul speaks to this issue and says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves with others because God is our judge.  He is also our maker and made us exactly the way he wanted us to look and be and do (Psalms 139).  When we see ourselves as God sees us, all the false influencers begin to fade away and we can start accepting ourselves as God wants us to.

On this journey, it might be helpful to identify those false influencers in your life and re-orient our thinking to a new way of looking at ourself.

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Marching Out Boldly

Posted on February 4, 2016 by James Gorton

Decades ago, I found myself in a very oppressive job.  I had been brought in to develop a marriage and family ministry in the church.  I had been in a similar position in a church in New England and wanted to move closer to my roots in Colorado.  Someone had heard about what I had done back east and began to inquire of my interest in moving to Arizona to develop the same kind of ministry in their church.  Long story short,  I moved with my family and began to build the ministry of reaching out to the needs of marriage and family.

I didn’t realize when I moved that very destructive relational interactions existed in the church staff.  Unhealthy communication.  Loyalty issues.  Power plays.  Large egos.  Staff on probation.  I had no idea of the environment I was moving into.  I also didn’t realize that soon after I arrived, my conversations with my immediate boss were being taped and given to the senior pastor.  Long story short, I decided after 1 year and three months that I had had enough.  I gave the church my resignation and left the church.  It was a great day of relief-relief from being under such scrutiny.  I had freedom to make my decisions of what I wanted to do without being questioned.  I was walking out boldly from that experience as I looked forward toward my future.  My boldness lasted only a couple of days until I looked at what I was going to do.  My future?  Making a living?  Doing what?  These questions caused real terror as I focused on the future.

I was reminded of this experience when I read from Exodus today.  A little backdrop.  Israel had been under bondage for many years (430) from the Egyptians.  Joseph was a Jew that was put in charge of the 7 years of famine Egypt endured after 7 years of plenty.  During the famine, Joseph’s brothers and Dad came down to be provided for with food and a place to live (Genesis 39-50)  Once Joseph died the bondage happened and they finally began to cry out to the Lord.  God heard their cry and sent Moses to be their deliverer, using various plagues (Exodus 1-13) to get Pharaoh, king of Egypt, to let them go.  As I read about the Exodus, I came across the phrase, “. . .Marching out boldly.” (Exodus 14:8)  The Israelites had been in bondage for 430 years.  The longer the bondage, the harder it became.  No relief.  No home.  Slaves.  No freedom.  Oppressed.  Depressed.  All of the above and more.  But when they were released by Pharaoh, they marched out boldly and were free from being a slave after 430 years.  I can somewhat understand what they were feeling.

Unfortunately, in the next paragraph, a different feeling emerged.  Pharaoh had a change of heart because of releasing all these slaves that had been at his beckon-call.  He with his soldiers took out after them.  “As Pharaoh approached , the Israelites looked up, and there were the Egyptians, marching after them.  They were terrified, and cried out to the Lord.” (Exodus 14:10)  They had just been experiencing boldness and two verses later, they are terrified.  I understand that feeling.

Their focus was on their circumstances and not on the God who brought many plagues on the Egyptian people that forced Pharaoh to let them go.  Circumstances do change on a daily basis, let alone a moment to moment basis.  When our focus is on our circumstances, our life will resemble a roller coaster.  Boldness to being terrified.  We choose where to put our focus.

On this journey there have been and will be plenty of ups and downs in life.  Focusing on the only stable One in life will take us off the roller coaster of emotions.  The choice in the midst of varying circumstances will determine our daily ride.  Choose wisely.

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The Lost Art of Interaction

Posted on February 3, 2016 by James Gorton

This morning reminded me of several years ago when I went to New York City for the weekend with my family.  Let me go back to that time before embarking on my experience today.  We decided to ride the subway from Midtown to Downtown Manhattan.  I came from a very friendly rural town in eastern Colorado where everybody said hello to everyone they came in contact with.  I thought I would try my skills of greeting people in the subways of New York.  I determined I would just say hello to those I was close to.  What a shock.  In the midst of a crowded subway, there was no interaction with anyone within a foot of others.  Total silence.  No recognition of the person next to them.  I said, “Hello” and you would have thought that I was from outer space.  No response.  No word recognition.  No connection.  No interaction.  Not one person responded to my greeting.  In the busiest city in the United States in the busiest subway there was silence.  The lost art of interaction.

Catching you up to speed, this morning I was shuttling for Airpark Auto Service and happened to greet two new customers who were coming to the shop for the first time.  The response was much different from the outcome I experienced in New York.  They didn’t know what to expect.  I offered them each a cup of coffee and served them with their cream and sugar.  I got them to talk about where they were from.  James was from Chicago and had recently moved here permanently about 4 months ago.  Julie moved from Oregon several months ago to be close to her children living here.  Margaret (a regular at Airpark Auto Service) had been here since 1994 from Buffalo, New York.  They began to talk with one another as I had some work to do.

What was interesting to note is that James could have gotten a shuttle home, but decided to spend a couple of hours in our waiting room and connect with the two ladies.  Margaret’s car was finished, but she stayed in the waiting room and continued to interact with the others for some 20 minutes.  All I did was ask a couple of questions and off the three of them went.  The more they talked the more common interest was developed.  It only took a question or two of asking about their lives to begin the dialogue.

How many times do we miss the joy of connecting with others because we are pre-occupied with life?  This journey needs to incorporate the art of interaction with those we come in contact with.  You never know what you might learn in the process of reaching out and saying, “Hello.”  Met anyone interesting lately?

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Removing Obstacles

Posted on February 2, 2016 by James Gorton

When I was a teenager during the summer, my dad set up a job for me to paint the roof.  I was all excited about the possibility of making some money and putting it in the bank.  Mind you, I lived in a town of 200 including the cats and dogs.  No retail stores.  No Home Depots.  No Scottsdale Fashion Square Malls.  No Apple Stores.  You get the picture.  There was nothing to spend my money on so I saved it.  All of it.  Back to the story.  Dad gave me directions as to how he wanted the roof painted.  The first step was the removal of loose paint (obstacles) before the painting could begin.  There was a lot of loose paint.  If the obstacles weren’t removed, painting over the loose paint would eventually break off and the roof would be left with places bare of paint.  Removing the obstacles.  Sometimes the obstacle is very difficult to remove from our lives.  It takes a lot of effort to remove the obstacle, but very necessary in order to get the desired result.

I had a similar experience this morning when I was working out, but a quite different obstacle.  No I wasn’t painting a roof.  I was going to work out on the elliptical, do some rowing and sit in the sauna after lifting some weights.  I put on my music, set up the elliptical and began to step.  One problem.  My music from my cell phone continued to change in the middle of the song.  It happened with three of the first songs and I recognized what was taking place.  The keys next to the phone were bumping up against the phone and changing the song.  The keys became an obstacle to listening to the music I usually work out with.  I had to remove the obstacle in order to listen fully to each song.  Once the obstacle was removed I had a wonderful workout.

How many obstacles interrupt our ability to do the things that we want to do?  For some, alcohol can become an obstacle that causes interference in building strong family connections.  When we focus too much on the stock market, it robs us of the joy of enjoying what we have.  Shopping can become an obstacle and cause us to dwell on things becoming our contentment rather than being contented with what we have.  Focusing so much on accomplishing tasks set before us can cause us to lose perspective of what is important (building relationships with God and with others).  A small obstacle might be the TV that causes us to focus on the program rather than connect with our spouse or children.  Mind you, I’m not talking about the upcoming Broncos versus Panthers Super Bowl game.  These are just a few examples of obstacles that can rob us of the joy of living life to the fullest when we spend an inordinate amount of time on them.

On this journey, there are invariable obstacles that come into play as we walk this road.  Removing the obstacles while keeping your focus on the goal will keep us free of getting bogged down in the mundane.

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Living In Community

Posted on February 1, 2016 by James Gorton

 

Sunday is a typical day in which Nadine and I go to our local community Church, McDowell Mountain Community Church.  We usually have Victoria, my middle daughter, and her two sons over for my famous Mickey Mouse chocolate chip pancakes and cooked crisp bacon (Nadine’s a master at this).  What we had forgotten to put into our calendar was the church picnic to be held a block from Victoria’s apartment.

After service we all decided to forgo the pancakes and choose instead the church picnic.  Popeyes chicken was on the menu for the day and so we were off.  We arrived at Scottsdale Ranch Park to over 200 men, women, and children who had also brought their own picnics.  Subway.  Jimmy Johns.  Wild Flower.  Homemade sandwiches.  It was a smorgasbord of food for a picnic.

We picked out a flat spot to set up our chairs and blanket and began to enjoy the festivities.  Touch football.  Kickball.  Face painting.  Football toss.  Softball toss.  Sack racing.  Or just sitting and watching as others participated in the joys of connecting with others.  It was then that something interesting began to happen.

Two friends brought their chairs and asked if they could sit with us.  Absolutely.  Two more friends came with no chairs so they sat on the blanket.  Another couple also came and sat down and community began to take place.  My little grandson Keaton started playing with his monster trucks with those on the blanket.  The more he engaged them the more they got involved in responding in kind.  There was tickling, summersaults, more tickling.  One individual took Keaton and began to throw him up in the air.

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He loved every minute of it.  I was sitting there watching all of my friends connecting with my grandson and became so grateful and full of joy for the community that I was experiencing.  It was my future generation being loved and valued right before my eyes.

On this journey there are times where you need to go it alone, and yet other times where community is so important in giving value to the next generation.  God didn’t create us to live in isolation but in connection with others.  My heart is full as I see this happening before my very eyes.

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