relationallychallenged

An Amazing Day: A Co-Worker

Posted on November 15, 2016 by James Gorton

This amazing day continued as we left Nina Lou’s house. The last stop was at an assisted living facility where mom wanted to see a fellow worker in the Flagler school system that she taught at.

Mom was an English and Home Economics teacher. She taught in three school systems over the years, starting with Seibert, moving to Vona, and finishing her teaching career in Flagler. I asked her why she gave up being superintendent at Vona and I heard this story.

The people loved her in that position along with the students. Straw that broke the camels back involved a newly hired coach for the Vona Wildcats. She was walking the halls one day and found a bunch of students shooting hoops in the gym when they should have been in class. In finding out what class they were missing, the culprit so happened to be the new coach. He was teaching history, and quit early and ushered the kids into the gym to shoot, but he was nowhere to be found. Mom had to call him into her office and confront him on his lack of preparation for his class and decided that it had been one too many confrontations over the years. She was ready to just teach so she moved to Flagler.

It was in Flagler that she began to interact with Jean, one of her colleagues. They were like two peas in a pod and began to reminisce on their experiences when they were teaching. Jean had a dry sense of humor and I just sat as they reconnected on a deep level. Jean had experienced some health problems earlier in the year, but was feeling better.

Co-workers are individuals that we spend most of the day with. We can have a tremendous influence on those that are next to us in the trenches. My mom was such a positive person that she positively impacted even co-workers.

On this journey, your profession can be an opportunity to connect and build lasting friendships. Who are you seeking to connect with today?

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An Amazing Day: An Old Friend

Posted on November 14, 2016 by James Gorton

When we had finished our time in Seibert, Mom turned to me and asked, “Do you think we could stop in Flagler, CO, to visit a couple of my friends?” I replied, “Mom, we are doing whatever you want to do.” So off we went on I-70 to Flagler, a neighboring town 11 miles away.

The back story. Flagler was a perennial sports enemy of Seibert when I was growing up. There is a record today in the Colorado record books of Seibert and Flagler playing football when I was a junior in high school. It was their homecoming and I still can remember the outcome unfortunately. 103-0. You heard right. 103-0 As a result of this score, the rules committee put in place a rule that causes the clock to start running continuously when the score differential appears in a game. Needless to say, there was bad blood for years between these two towns.

What Mom told me blew my mind as we drove to Flagler. Flagler and Seibert have now combined their sports teams and are playing together as they compete with other towns in the various sports. Working together as a team and not enemies? That would have been unheard of in my generation, but I am so thankful that bygones can be bygones.

Back to the story. We stopped by Nina Lou Ford’s house to say hello. Nina Lou was a dear friend of Mom’s and they would play bridge a couple of times a week when Mom lived in Seibert. There was a car parked in front, but Mom said, “Let’s go in any way because she will want to see me.” Did she ever want to see Mom.

It was like Mom was royalty. Nina Lou said that Mom was her favorite person. They couldn’t stop talking and it was as if neither of the other three ladies nor me were in the room. Nina Lou and her late husband owned the grocery store in Flagler that we would shop at on a regular basis. Nina Lou had since turned the store over to her son Tony whom I had played football with on the non forgettable night.

The other three ladies who were playing bridge that day wanted to know if Mom would be okay if they came to Colorado Springs where Mom lives now and bring their bridge cards up to play with Mom. She was humbled that they would want to do that.

On this journey it is important to continue to cultivate friends new and old. You could tell that Mom had a significant impact on them and could tell the love they had for her. Today might be a good day to stop by one of your old friends and say hello. Who knows what might happen.

Posted in God Relationship, Personal mastery, Relationships in General | Tagged Cultivating friendships, Friendships, Staying connected | Leave a comment

An Amazing Day: A Youngin

Posted on November 11, 2016 by James Gorton

This amazing day continued as we were talking about the wild one we encountered. But let me give you a back drop to this story. I grew up in Seibert, CO a farming community of dry land wheat farming and cattle. I was into sports as much as anyone could be. In a rural community, there isn’t much more to do as a teenager than to participate in football, basketball, baseball, and track-we didn’t have soccer.

In the summers, I would coach little league baseball and one summer we won it all. One of the players on the team was Randall Herman who I lost touch with when I moved away. It so happened that Randall and his wife and son moved next door to my mom’s house. The house he moved into was my Grandma Gorton’s, my dad’s mom who lived next to us until she died at the age of 92.

Randall’s son Kent was a great athlete like his father and helped the Seibert High School team be awarded the state championship in football and basketball. He graduated and began to help his dad on the farm. Now back to the amazing day.

Someone pulled in back of our car that was parked and out of the pickup stepped a 6 foot 5 inch young man who knelt down and began to talk to Mom. It was Kent Herman. He started by saying, “I heard that you were in town and I looked all over town to find you because I wanted to see you and say hello.” Here is a 20+-year-old who had to say hello to my mom. She had such a positive impact on him that he stopped whatever he was doing to search my mom out to see her.

What is amazing to me is that my mom had an impact not only on students she taught but upon the newest generation of adults. Kent loved my mom and needed to see her when he found out she was in town. It takes a special person who is able to relate with any and every person in our society. I began to see my mom being that person.

There are all kinds of people who cross our paths during our life here on this earth. Infants. Toddlers. Children. Teenagers. Young adults. Middle aged adults. Older adults. Aged individuals. It reminds me of Jesus when He saw his disciples pushing children away from Jesus. They had the perspective that children are to be seen and not heard (sound familiar to some of you growing up in the 40s-50s), Jesus told the disciples to let the children come to him and not hinder them. Matthew 19:14

On this journey, the process of seeking to connect with all people who come across our path will determine the legacy we live for the coming generations. Be aware and ready to value people in our sphere of influence.

Posted in God Relationship, Personal mastery | Tagged Legacy, Respect, Valuing people | Leave a comment

An Amazing Day: The Wild One

Posted on November 10, 2016 by James Gorton

Part two of the amazing day with my mom came after the encounter with the truant. The McAuley’s have been around the Seibert area since I can remember. They were farmers outside of town driving north about 4-5 miles. Mr. and Mrs. McAuley were older when they had Dick and never had any more children. Dick was privileged because he was an only child and got most everything that he asked for.

When he began to drive, he had a lead foot and not only got several tickets, but wrecked his car more than once. He was known as the wild one. Many years ago, his parents died and he was left with his own family. It has been decades since he manifested his wild side and now owns and operates one of the most influential businesses in the farming community and surrounding towns. Because most of the industry is farming, a lot of machinery gets damaged and needs to be welded. Dick and his staff go to various towns around Seibert delivering his services to farmers in need.

Dick loved my mom and always loved to see her when she came to town. When mom lived in Seibert, Dick would do whatever he could to help Mom when she needed anything. I stood back and allowed the conversation between my mom and Dick to flow. He was another one of Mom’s students in high school and you could see that he truly admired my mom.

It reminds me of another person in the bible that had a wild streak. The story is found in Luke 15:11-34 and is known as the “Prodigal Son”. The son wanted to be wild and live it up, so he asked for his inheritance from his father and went and spent it all on loose living until he had no more. He came to his senses and turned his wild life into a life that was productive. Dick was a wild one, but when you talk to him today, you would never know about his past life.

On this journey, there is never a point where we can’t turn around if our path is less than healthy and change history. Wild lives can become productive and positively impactful when we recognize that the path we are on is a dead-end.

Posted in God Relationship, Personal mastery | Tagged Change, Choices | Leave a comment

An Amazing Day: A Truant

Posted on November 8, 2016 by James Gorton

The past few jlogs have been written from my experiences when I went back to Colorado to visit my mom and to get the homestead ready to sell. On Tuesday I got up and had breakfast with Mom in her assisted living dining room. She turned to me and said, “I’d like to take a trip to Seibert for the day.” I replied, “Let’s go.” So off we went.

There was no agenda. There were no schedules to attend to. There were no appointments we had to show up for. Wednesday was going to be a day that unfolded like no other. What we were going to do centered around the whims of Mom’s mind and what she wanted. It was my desire to fulfill whatever she wanted to do that day.

When we got to Seibert, CO she wanted to show me the new high school that had been built. There was nothing left of my old high school but was replaced by a beautiful new building and lush grass football field next to it. As we drove around the football field, a man who was watering waved to us and I had no idea who it was. When we completed the loop, Mom said, “I think I know that man.” We stopped and said hello and Mom said, “I know you. You’re Carl Thorson.”

A little backdrop. Mom was the first female superintendent ever in the state of Colorado. Carl was one her students during this time and graduated in 1964. He was a truant and would frequently ditch school and would eventually end up in Mom’s office. Many times a year. He hugged my mom and told her how fond of her he was. I just listened to this amazing conversation and heard the impact my mom had in Carl’s life. They talked about Carl skipping school to paint the railroad tracks. A real rebel. At the end of their conversation, he gave her another hug and off we went.

This interaction gives me pause for thought. We never know how our interactions with people we come in contact with will impact them. For Carl, my mom was one of those positive influences that contributed to his becoming a productive person in our society. This was the start of me seeing what an impact my mom had in the lives of others.

On this journey you never know who you might run into and have the opportunity to influence in a positive way. Sometimes it’s good to cut away your schedule and let life have its way.

Posted in God Relationship, Personal mastery, Relationships in General | Tagged Amazing day, Influencing people, Mentor, Truant | Leave a comment

Powerful Wind

Posted on November 7, 2016 by James Gorton

Mom and I decided to take a trip back in time and drive out to the place where Mom had spent 70+ years of her life. Highway 24 is the route from Colorado Springs to Seibert via Interstate 70 from Limon to Seibert. I have traveled those roads so much that the towns you have to pass through each carry their own story.

We stopped in Limon, Colorado for lunch at the golden arches. Limon is the largest town in eastern Colorado except for maybe Burlington, but you don’t need to know any of this trivia I’m sure. It was 44 miles to go to our destination as we started the short trek. The first town you go thru on the way to Seibert from Limon is Genoa. It is a very small town, but that’s not what caught my eye. It was grain bins on a farm that caught my attention just outside the town.

As you can see in the foreground, there were semitrailers parked in front of the grain bins that were crushed. You can see how big these grain bins were (40+ feet high constructed of corrugated aluminum), and yet they were crushed like someone took a 2×4 and whacked them. These grain bins were hit by a tornado that came through Genoa two summers ago and literally destroyed these mammoth bins. It looked like someone squeezed them like a small plastic football.

Tornados are created by violent destructive whirling wind accompanied by a funnel-shaped cloud that progresses in a narrow path over the land. We think that constructing houses, business buildings, grain bins, etc. we will create safety for us and for our possessions. This sight caused me to realize that no matter what we build, no human structure can produce a safe place to live or create safety for our possessions.

On this journey, it’s who we put our trust in that creates safety, and not human structures. Jobs we think create security can be wiped away in an instant. Our trust in our health can be challenged with one visit to the doctor. All of us have experienced cherished relationships that came to an end when we thought they would last forever. Thinking that grain bins can store all of our excess produce for future living expenses can be destroyed in a moment. Our safety truly comes from the One who holds our life in His hand.

Today on this journey we have the choice of what we think will create a safe place and build security as we move along our life path. Choose wisely.

Posted in God Relationship | Tagged Safe places, Security, Tornados | Leave a comment

Storing Up Treasures

Posted on November 5, 2016 by James Gorton

I went back to my hometown with my mom to see the homestead before it was sold. Seibert, Colorado is about 40 miles from the Kansas border on I-70 going from Denver to Kansas City. Seibert is a farming community of about 200 people that raises winter wheat and feed for cattle. When there is a bumper crop like they had this year, they don’t have enough storage in the grain bins so they pour the grain out on the ground to pick up later.

When we drove into town, we also saw large 100 yard white bags next to the large pile of wheat and wondered what the bags were. We found out that they are huge garbage like bags that they also use to store the excess grain.

The pictures remind me of a parable Jesus used about excess grain. “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’ “Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.” ’ “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭12:16-21‬ ‭NIV

There are times in all of our lives where we experience an overflowing abundance of what God has for us. The abundance may be in the form of a fulfilling relationship. It may come in bonuses at work or overtime pay. It may happen with the stock market. Surplus in any area of life doesn’t guarantee a future for us. It could be taken away or we could be taken away in an instant. The parable focuses on where our treasure needs to be stored. God centered versus earth centered. There’s never a time when we can take life easy and rest on our laurels because we never know when this day will be the last day of our lives. That is one area where we have no control. NONE.

On this journey, be careful where you invest your treasure. For where your treasure is your heart will be also. Invest today in God’s kingdom.

Posted in God Relationship | Tagged Abundance, Investment in the future, Storing treasures | 1 Comment

Fond Memories

Posted on November 4, 2016 by James Gorton

My mother at the age of 97 has decided to sell her house in Seibert Colorado that I grew up in. My dad built the house when I was 4 and I lived in it until I graduated from high school and moved away for college. It was in our family for 63 years and now it is on the market to sell.

A few days ago I flew back to Denver to help my sister clean it out to get ready to sell. My job was to clean out the shed and the garage which I did for the most part.

The shed contained old empty wooden boxes that dad collected from the 40s and 50s with ammo shells stamped on the sides. Wooden saw horses were sitting on top of each other that I had used many times to build forts and create stories to pass the time as a child.

Also in this shed was my red American Flyer wagon.

It took me back to a time when my grandpa Miller built a wooden camper to put on top of this wagon. It had a tilted roof with a door on the back that you could close. I would back it up with blankets, a toy gun, some food, and go on a pretend hunt for deer and other animals as my dad had done.

The memories are so vivid that I still can see them in my mind even as I write this jlog. This day brought back fond memories that I will always cherish. The house will be gone and the wagon will be gone, but the memories will remain.

Memories that we hold on to can be good memories or bad memories. Sometimes the past memories that we have are not memories that we chose but were made for us.

We do have a choice in the kind of memories that we make today and tomorrow. We can let go of the bad memories and begin today to make memories that we cherish and think fondly of. The Apostle Paul says to forget what lies behind and press on to what lies before.

On our journey we can begin today to live in such a way so that the memories of our past will be remembered and cherished for years to come.

Posted in Personal mastery, Relationships in General | Tagged Building new memories, Forgetting bad memories, Memories | Leave a comment

Our Worth

Posted on October 3, 2016 by James Gorton

This morning I had our windows open to let in the cool morning breeze. Now some of you that are reading this will wonder why that is so unique especially those living north of Scottsdale, Arizona. You have experienced cool nights and mornings all summer and will experience even more extreme temperatures as you head into fall and winter. But for us, October is a time to open the windows and doors to let the outside air in. It is our summer that is coming and will be here for 7-8 months. It is a time to move outside and enjoy Gods creation.

When I opened the windows and doors I heard kinds of sounds outside that had been shut up for 4-5 months. I’m talking about birds. All kinds of birds. Happy birds. Birds that were singing for joy. Morning doves. Pigeons. Barn swallows. Sparrows. You name it. They were out singing and having a great time.

I was reading in my quiet time this morning about sparrows that Jesus talked about. He talked about how important they were and then compared them to us. He said, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭10:29-31

He knows when one sparrow dies. Of the millions of sparrows let alone all the other kinds of birds, not one of them falls to the ground without His knowledge. Of the billions and billions of birds on this earth, He is aware of their death–each death. He then turns the focus on us and says that He knows the number of hairs on each of our heads–and knows the number that fell out this morning. He knows us better than we know ourselves and values us highly.

This morning on our journey it’s wonderful to know that we are highly valued even if we have lost some of our hair. It’s nice to know that we have someone who notices us today and is intimately aware of our present situation.

Posted in God Relationship, Personal mastery | Tagged Our self-esteem, Our value, Value | Leave a comment

Not Enough

Posted on September 30, 2016 by James Gorton

Have you ever experienced a lack of fulfillment in life? It seems that whatever you are experiencing it isn’t enough? How about getting filled up with food. The ice cream that you ordered wasn’t enough. Or you go to a restaurant and you order your meal and find that what you ordered didn’t fill you up. You make a meal for the family and after everyone has eaten the food, you find your stomach wanting just a little bit more, but it is all gone.

What about feeling cold and not having enough clothes to get you to a warm body temperature? I know that in Arizona, that usually isn’t a problem as it has been in the triple digit numbers for the last 4-5 months. But I know of people who have lived here all of their lives and need a sweater when it get’s below 90. Have you ever wanted to be warmer, or colder, and felt inadequate in getting to the ideal temperature that you wanted to be at.

I have wanted to plant a garden in Arizona, but to no avail. What I planted didn’t amount to much and the harvest was so much less than the energy that I put into cultivating my garden. It may be the energy you put into a paper or a work project and find that the result you expected is much less than the end result you received.

What about the amount of money you receive in wages trying to cover the expenses you incur on a monthly basis? It seems that whatever you make isn’t enough. We find ourselves wondering where all of our money went. It’s like we had a hole in our pocket and we have lost money that we thought we had.

It seems that life is defined by not enough. Not enough money. Not enough food. Not enough time. Not enough resources. No enough. This morning I was reading and found the answer to the not enough dilemma. “Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.” This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. . . .“You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house.” Haggai‬ ‭1:5-9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I hear the answer to not enough is the placing of our priorities in the seeking the stuff and not putting priority on prioritizing God in our lives. We are so focused on taking care of our own houses and stuff that we have forgotten to put God first in our lives.

This journey can only be successful when we turn to the One who has the power to fulfill our needs and erase the NOT in our lives.

Posted in God Relationship, Personal mastery | Tagged Contentment, Having enough, Needs, priorities | Leave a comment