Stubbornness: Part I. It’s Power

Posted on April 28, 2017 by James Gorton

Have you ever been attracted to someone or something and that attraction grabs your attention?  I could be a boy/man who grabs a major part of your think-time.  It could be a girl/woman who is so beautiful that you spend most waking minutes and hours thinking about her.  What about things?  How about a car or cars that aren’t in your driveway but you wish they were?  It could be a job that you long for but haven’t realized.  All of us at sometime in the past or maybe in the present have a love for something and can’t get it out of our mind.

Imelda Marcos, wife of the past president Ferdinand Marcos of the Philippines, had in her possession over 2700 pairs of shoes in her closet.  Can you imagine how big her closet had to be to accommodate all of those shoes.  Do you realize that in order to wear every pair of shoes one time, it would take over 7 years to accomplish that feat.  Think about all the different kind of clothes that would need to go with each pair of shoes.  She loved shoes.  It seemed that the more shoes she got, the more she wanted and wouldn’t be denied the passion of her heart.

Growing up in rural Colorado, cattle and winter wheat were the staple industries of the area.   I grew accustomed to wearing hats, primarily baseball type hats.  I began collecting them over the years to the point that I had over 200 hats.  During the time of collection, I was constantly looking for new and different hats that I could add to my collection.  I have since given many away, but I loved my hats and wore many of them through the years.  I did have a few that I never wore.  The passion has worn off, but the passion for things or for relationships can divert our attention away from the primary focus that is most important to our health both physically, emotionally, and spiritual.

I was reminded of another person in the bible who had a passion for women.  He collected them like Imelda collected shoes.  His name was Solomon and was the son of King David.  In fact Solomon took over the kingdom when his father was about to die.  “King Solomon, however, loved many foreign women besides Pharaoh’s daughter—Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Sidonians and Hittites. They were from nations about which the LORD had told the Israelites, “You must not intermarry with them, because they will surely turn your hearts after their gods.” Nevertheless, Solomon held fast to them in love.  As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the LORD his God, as the heart of David his father had been.  1 Kings‬ ‭11:1-2, 4 NIV‬

Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (or women at his disposal)  These wives came from all different countries including Egypt, Moab, Ammon, Edom, Sidon and Hittite.  Each woman brought her belief about God to the marriage.  Because Solomon loved them, he listened to their belief systems and sought to value where they were coming from.  God told Solomon told him not to marry women who had different belief systems to his own belief system because they would turn his heart away from God.  Because of Solomon’s stubbornness to hold fast in love to these women, the power of the passion caused his heart to be drawn away from the Lord.

On this journey, there will be many things and people that we come in contact with.  We need to be careful in keeping our focus on the Lord and not allowing our stubbornness to dictate our choices.  Unchecked stubbornness is a powerful tool to divert our attention.

 

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Perfection Challenged

Posted on April 27, 2017 by James Gorton

Most of us would admit to making mistakes in the past.  I say most because I encountered a person who blamed his wife for all the problems of their marriage.  As I investigated further into this persons perspective, I found that he really didn’t think he had ever done anything wrong.  When I told him that the only person I knew who was perfect was God and asked him about that, he said I’m close to being like God.  I guess you can’t argue with perfection.

I for sure don’t believe that because I blow it on a regular basis.  So if you’re not perfect like I’m not perfect,  continue reading on as the wisest person on the earth gave us some instruction as to what we need to do when we encounter areas in life where we’ve blown it.  The bible calls it sin which has been defined as active rebellion against God or passive indifference to what He wants for our life.  Solomon was talking to God as he began to spell out what our responsibility is when sin enters our life.

“When they (us or others) sin against you (God)—for there is no one who does not sin—and you become angry with them and give them over to their enemies, . . .and if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their captors and say, ‘We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul . . .and pray to you toward the land you gave their ancestors, . . .then from heaven, . . .and forgive your people, who have sinned against you.”  ‭1 Kings‬ ‭8:46-50‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Solomon stated that there is no one on the face of the earth that doesn’t sin.  All of us have blown it in the past and will blow it in the present and future.  What do we do when we blow it?  Solomon said that we need to repent and tell God that we have done wrong and acted wickedly.  Recognition of the sin is the first step in the process of reuniting with the God of the universe.  The second step in the process is to turn away from the sin and turn our hearts and souls back to focusing our attention on God.  It’s in the confession, repentance, and turning of our hearts that true forgiveness happens.

Solomon recognized that our recognition of our sin is an essential ingredient tin the forgiveness that we seek from our heavenly Father.  This journey we are on will involve our coming to grips with attitudes and actions that are displeasing to God.  When we become aware of mistakes, take time on the journey to clean up the mistakes and get right with God.  This will stop us from making a wrong turn and going too far off the path.

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Undisciplined Children

Posted on April 26, 2017 by James Gorton

All of us have experienced instances where we are in the presence of children who are undisciplined.  The children are running around like helliens and the parents are oblivious to what their children are doing.  Don’t get me wrong, I believe that children need to run around and have fun and act like children.  It’s not acting like children that is the problem.  It involves actions that negatively affect others where the problem lies.

It’s having children interrupt conversations of others without being disciplined.  Children need to be heard, but there is an appropriate time for children to be heard.  It’s when others have finished their thoughts so children learn how not to interrupt when someone else is talking.

Children need to learn that when a person in authority says the word “NO” it means “NO”  and they need to respect the word and not push for their way.  Children need to learn where the limits are and respect those limits by not seeking to push until they get what they want.  When children are disciplined in the early stages of development, they learn how to operate in the adult world with other adults who have learned how to interact with others.

As I was reading the bible today, I came across a story that flies in the face of children being disciplined in the early stages of life.  It’s a story of Adonijah who was the son of King David.  He was one of the youngest sons of David and had never been disciplined by his father.  He decided one day that he wanted to be king.  His father David was still the king of Israel, but he had a harebrained idea that he wanted that post.  “Now Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, put himself forward and said, ‘I will be king.’  So he got chariots and horses ready, with fifty men to run ahead of him.  (His father had never rebuked him by asking, “Why do you behave as you do?”  He was also very handsome and was born next after Absalom.)

Adonijah had never been rebuked.  No one had ever challenged his wants and desires.  Whatever he wanted he got.  In today’s society, we would call him entitled.  He did exactly as he wanted to do and made himself king.  Unfortunately for him, David had promised the future king to be his son Solomon.  When David heard what Adonijah had done, he made a decision to put Solomon on the throne that same day and Adonijah for the first time didn’t get what he wanted.

What might have happened if David would have stood up to his son in the early stages of childhood and said “NO” on occasions Adonijah had wanted something?  David might have averted this conflict with his sons taking over the kingship.

On this journey, challenging our children who are developing entitlement issues can ward future pain as they grow into adults.

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Working Smarter Not Harder

Posted on April 24, 2017 by James Gorton

You have all heard the saying “work smarter, not harder.”  When we are young, it seems that we want to show those around us how strong we are and that we can do what ever task is put before us.  When I was young, I rarely asked for help in solving a problem.  I had the mindset that “I can do it myself.”  A do-it-yourself project.  Homework.  Getting a job.  If there was a job or project to be done, I rarely asked for help because I had this mindset that I had all the resources at my disposal to accomplish whatever I put my mind to do.

As I begin to get older, limitations of physical abilities begin to challenge the “I’ll do it myself” mindset.  My mind is willing but my body isn’t.  What I used to do in my exercise routine can no longer be experienced in the limbs and muscles of my body.  I had some porch light bulbs that needed to be changed, so I got a 24 foot extension ladder to do the job.  As I was climbing up the ladder by myself, I started shaking on the ladder and realized that what I would have done as a 20-year-old was no longer applicable as a 60 something year old.  I found myself turning to my son who shimmied up the ladder and within a few minutes changed all three bulbs.

This morning I came across a passage of an individual in the bible who was seeking to kill an individual who had done wrong.  He decided to destroy the whole city in order to get this one person he was after.  “All the troops with Joab came and besieged Sheba in Abel Beth Maakah. They built a siege ramp up to the city, and it stood against the outer fortifications. While they were battering the wall to bring it down, a wise woman called from the city, “Listen! Listen! Tell Joab to come here so I can speak to him.” He went toward her, and she asked, “Are you Joab?” “I am,” he answered. She said, “Listen to what your servant has to say.” “I’m listening,” he said. She continued, “Long ago they used to say, ‘Get your answer at Abel,’ and that settled it. We are the peaceful and faithful in Israel. You are trying to destroy a city that is a mother in Israel. Why do you want to swallow up the LORD’s inheritance?” “Far be it from me!” Joab replied, “Far be it from me to swallow up or destroy! That is not the case. A man named Sheba son of Bikri, from the hill country of Ephraim, has lifted up his hand against the king, against David. Hand over this one man, and I’ll withdraw from the city.” The woman said to Joab, “His head will be thrown to you from the wall.” Then the woman went to all the people with her wise advice, and they cut off the head of Sheba son of Bikri and threw it to Joab. So he sounded the trumpet, and his men dispersed from the city, each returning to his home. And Joab went back to the king in Jerusalem.” ‭2 Samuel‬ ‭20:15-22‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Joab wanted to take down one man, Sheba.  But what he did was build a siege ramp up to the city.  He battered on the wall to bring it down.  Rather than working smarter, he was working harder and was going to destroy the whole city to bring one man down.  Fortunately, there was a wise woman who challenged his approach in getting the work done.  She asked him what he wanted and promptly went to the townspeople and had the head of Sheba cut off and thrown over the wall.  Problem solved.  How much time and effort could have been averted had he asked some questions before besieging the city.

On this journey, asking for insight and wisdom can save a lot of wasted time and energy if we only recognize that others might just have a better idea.

 

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New Life In The Spring

Posted on April 19, 2017 by James Gorton

I love the spring each year.  It is my favorite time of year.  Now some of you are wondering why an Arizonan who has no real winter (we call our winter February–50-60 degree weather and rain) would love Spring so much.  Those of you who are reading this from the northern states just got some more snow and are tired of shoveling it out of your driveways.  You know all about the springtime when you can take off your coats and galoshes off and try on the shorts that did fit last fall.  For you springtime is truly a time for rejoicing.

Here in Arizona, we rejoice about springtime as well, but not the way you northerners do.  For us, it is a time of new life.  All around us, flowers are in bloom in the deserts as well as in Home Depot.  It is also a time for seeing new life emerge in the birds and animals that live in the desert.  A couple of days ago Nadine noticed a tree in the back yard and came closer to see what you see below.

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There in the fork of the tree was a mourning dove sitting on her nest with two young doves underneath her.  New life.  Springtime.  Spring is a time in Arizona where you begin to see all kinds of animals and birds bring forth their legacy in the form of little ones.

Spring is also a time to observe the birth of bulbs that have been planted in the fall before the winter comes.  You might be saying that bulbs can’t grow in Arizona because it is too warm.  We have a little cottage in Flagstaff where it not only has months of winter but had a record 200 inches of snow on the mountains this past winter.  Two years ago I planted some bulbs and this is the second year where new life peaked through the ground and gave us great joy in eyeing the yellow and white daffodil.

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This new life that we experience every spring reminds me of the new life that God talks in His word.  Jesus and Nicodemus were talking about the miracles that Jesus was doing and wondered how he did it.  Jesus responded to Nicodemus by saying, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.  How can someone be born when they are old?”  Nicodemus asked.  “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb and be born!”  Jesus answered, Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.  Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit.  You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.'” John 3:3-7

Jesus was talking about new life coming by bring born again spiritually.  New birth in Christ happens when we put our trust in the Christ who died on the cross and rose three days later, the Easter celebration.  For humans, there is a natural birth that all of us walking on the earth have experiences.  The born again that Jesus was talking about is when we put our trust in Him who had victory over death.

On this journey, we all experience new birth of animals and living things which remind us of our own birth.  Along this journey, we can experience another birth that opens the door for having fellowship with the God of the universe for all eternity.

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Not One Sparrow

Posted on April 12, 2017 by James Gorton

Have you ever felt insignificant in our world of 7.13 billion people?  That’s billion spelled with a B.  When we are in our own world of driving to work and back again, we pass hundreds of other people who are going to work or shopping or visiting others and then driving home again.  That’s not too overwhelming if the world were that small.  I grew up in a town of 200 where I knew everyone and everyone knew me.  I felt pretty special when I would pass someone and knew that they knew my name.

Living in Scottsdale or Phoenix or any other town in this multiple city complex, I know very few and rarely do I know any of the people who I am passing in my car.  The world seems to be getting bigger and my knowledge of those around me decreasing.  Added to the unknowns of people I come in contact with, I don’t know their stories.  Their accomplishments.  Their pain.  Their losses.  Their connected or broken relationships.  If I begin to think about all of these things, my world view shrivels up as to my knowledge.

I have at times in my life felt very far from God when I am in pain because I have wondered in the past if He has time for me when He is so busy taking care of all the other people (7.13 billion) who have much greater needs that I seem to have.

As I was leaving my office today I came across something that caused me to remember the wonderful Father that wants to be a part of all of our lives.  It was a little sparrow that had fallen out of its nest as he/she began to take its first flight from the comfort of the home that his mother had made.

Matthew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.   So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”  I was concerned about this little sparrow, but my heavenly father knew when he fell from the nest and was working on helping him to fly even before I came along.  Not only is He concerned about the birds of the air, but He cares for me (and you) even as I write this jlog.  He not only cares for you, but he knows how many hairs you have on your head and how many fell out this morning.  It says that I (and you) am/are insignificant.  He has enough care and concern for all of the 7.13 billion people including all of His creation.

Today on this journey, it is helpful when we look to the heavens or hear a bird chirping that we recognize how valuable we are to Him.  Not only does he care for the animals of this world but for us as well.  Be assured that you are valuable and significant to Him even as you read this jlog.

 

 

 

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Who Do You Trust

Posted on April 10, 2017 by James Gorton

There is a story of the early years of David, an Israelite.  He was the one who at 16 was called upon to kill the giant with a rock and a slingshot.  He also killed a bear and a lion with his own hands in seeking to protect the sheep he was herding.  It is a fascinating story of the growth of this young lad who was put in King Saul’s army after killing the giant.  It was said of David after coming in from battle that Saul killed his 1000s and David his 10,000s.

Saul was becoming more and more angry at David and all the accolades he was getting and finally forced him out of the country where David found a bunch of yahoos (nobodies really) who decided to follow David.  Wherever David went he had victory because he always asked the Lord for guidance and direction.  I’ve given you a backdrop for the interesting story about David and his army rejects.

David decided to go over to the enemy camp of the Philistines with his loyalists and work with the enemy.  Achish was the king and the following passage depicts the relationship that David developed with the king.  “When Achish asked, “Where did you go raiding today?” David would say, “Against the Negev of Judah” or “Against the Negev of Jerahmeel” or “Against the Negev of the Kenites.” He did not leave a man or woman alive to be brought to Gath, for he thought, “They might inform on us and say, ‘This is what David did.’ ” And such was his practice as long as he lived in Philistine territory. Achish trusted David and said to himself, “He has become so obnoxious to his people, the Israelites, that he will be my servant for life.” 1 Samuel‬ ‭27:10-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Not only did the enemy King Achish become loyal to David, but you would think that his reprobate army followers would be loyal to him as well.  Whatever they put their hands to they were successful.  Every enemy was completely destroyed.  Wouldn’t you want to follow someone who batted 1000.

Have you ever had a best friend that you had total trust in?  You could tell them anything and you would feel safe.  They had your back.  Your trusted friend.  Your confident.  Your best friend.  Have you ever experienced that relationship unraveling and falling apart?  It’s the worst feeling ever.

David had this band of brothers that seemingly trusted him fully, but something happened.  They were on a mission to fight with King Achish, but it didn’t work out and they were forced to go back to their home town, only to find that the town had been ransacked and their women and children were taken.  The following passage reflects what happened to people whom David trusted when they came upon some difficult situations.  “David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel‬ ‭30:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

David turned to God and found strength in the Lord his God.  There will be times when those who we trust the most will let us down.  If our focus is on human strength and bonding, we will experience at times those who fall away.  It’s a lesson of where we need to put our trust in someone who will never leave nor will ever forsake us.

On this journey, trust will be in play as we interact with others and with the Lord.  Keeping our focus on the One who will always be there is vitally important as we hit inevitable potholes in life.

 

 

 

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In Community

Posted on April 7, 2017 by James Gorton

Have you ever been in a large crowd and felt alone?  There are so many people around you that you can touch and feel, yet you don’t say hello, nor know their name, and you are conscious not to have eye contact with them for fear that you might have to say something.  Nadine’s daughter and boyfriend live in Brooklyn, NY and were here for a visit this last week.  They were both saying the same thing about being in such a large city and having absolutely no conversation with their neighbors.  You live right next door to someone and not know who they are or where they come from or what they do.  Their complex has used social media to connect by setting up a Facebook page for all who live in the complex so that some kind of community can be set up in case of an emergency.  The problem is that none of them know each other.

Yesterday, Nadine and I experienced another kind of community.  I am in the lottery to get Masters Golf Tournament tickets each year and have never been picked–until this year.  We decided with our free flight miles to head to Georgia and experience this wonderful tournament.  We stayed in Atlanta and early on Wednesday at 2:30 the alarm rang for Nadine to get up and get ready for the day (I take 5-10 minutes to get us and get ready, need I say more).  With coffee in our veins, we headed out for the great adventure of going to the last practice round before the tournament started.

We parked our car with 10s of 1000s of other cars and made our way to one of the most beautiful places we had ever seen with lush grass and blooming flowers.  It was a maze of people spreading out all over the rolling hills of Augusta National Golf Course.  We were there for about 3 1/2 hours when a harsh horn sounded which forced the practice rounds to stop and we were told we needed to evacuate the premises and sit in our cars to wait further instructions as to whether we would be allowed back on the course.

It was in our cars that community began to develop.  We began talking to a couple from Arkansas and from Houston.  We found out that two of them were in the insurance business, one was an accountant, and one was an OBGYN nurse.  They wanted to share their snacks with us as we began to tell stories of our past history and how we got to the Masters.

After waiting 1 1/2 hours in the car, the course was going to open and so we ventured out into a long line where it began to pour with lightning and thunder.  As we were standing in the rain with multiple umbrellas over our heads, we met two men from Scottsdale who happened to be YoungLife leaders who happened to know our son’s YoungLife leader and a wife of one of our church pastors.  In a sea of 10s of 1000s, community began to form.  It was as if we met new friends from all over the USA when we began to open up the conversation.

On this journey, you never know who you might meet if only you take the time to say hello and ask a few questions.  Who knows, a dear friend might emerge if only you take the plunge to introduce yourself.

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The Rebellious Thread

Posted on April 5, 2017 by James Gorton

I hate to admit it but I have a tinge of rebelliousness that I have had all of my life.  It began early in life when I hated to read, so I learned to read the first chapter of a book and then the last chapter before I wrote my book-report and could fill in the missing gaps that I didn’t read.

When I began to drive, I found it very difficult to come to a complete stop before looking both ways and proceeding with caution.  I would look both ways, but found ways to use a California stop (slowing down at a stop sign, but never coming to a complete stop before proceeding on your way).

I have a hard time when it comes to lines that try to keep you between them.  When there are several lines without any people in them, I have had a tendency to lift the lines and go directly to where people are standing.  Why go back and forth in the lines when you can get to your destination more quickly.

I hate to admit it, but I have had my share of 8 hour classes that seek to scare you into driving more defensively.  You would think that these boring classes would convince me to drive differently so that I wouldn’t have to endure these painful experiences.  Unfortunately the rebellious thread pushes against conformity.

Today I may have finally found out where my rebellious thread came from.  I was talking with my mom as I have sought to do on a daily basis.  Over the past week, her nursing home has had quarantine for all the residents because of a flu epidemic.  Five of the residents were taken to the hospital and so they ordered all the residents to stay in their rooms until they sterilized the whole facility.  Mom has developed cabin fever, so today she couldn’t stand it any longer and began to walk the halls.  No other residents would come out, but she did.  She said that if she heard one of the workers coming down the halls, she would hide so that they couldn’t see her.  Here is where I got my rebelliousness.  My Mother.  She is my hero.

I also see that Jesus was a rebel, especially when it came to the Pharisee laws.  He came to change the way people worshipped the Lord.  Now I’m not seeking to justify my rebellious acts.  There is no justification for disobeying the rules of the road which is where my greatest rebellion takes place.  I’m just saying that rebellious threads come from places that are sometimes closest to us.

On this journey, there are times when going outside the lines are warranted as in the case of Jesus.  Be careful where you choose to rebel.

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Talk In the Salon

Posted on March 21, 2017 by James Gorton

As a guy, I grew up going to the barbershop every week with my dad.  Sometimes he would go first and sometimes I would.  We sometimes had to wait, but in a small town of 200, the wait would be one guy at the most.  The barbershop was in the basement of the Seibert Hotel with two pool tables located in the next room.  Talk centered on the next football game, or the one that was just played.  Mind you back in those days, there was no TV, football, baseball, nor basketball games to talk about.  It was all local topics that were falling on the ears as the hair was being cut off.  Below is the Seibert Hotel where my first locks of hair were cut.

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Fast forward to the 21st Century to 2017 and I’m in the chair once more having my hair cut in a salon.  Not a barbershop, but a salon.  I know there are barber shops that I could go to, but I was going to one of those and my barber left, so Nadine suggested I come to her stylist for a haircut and have gone ever since.  I was in the salon with all women stylists and all women clients.  The topics for the day were much different from my barbershop experience.  One woman was talking about having her hair cut 6 inches a year ago and when she looked at the mirror, she began to cry.  In fact she cried the whole night because she was so upset.

The topic turned to the TV show The Bachelor and everyone began to participate.

“Vanessa is the worst choice for Nick.  She is a controller and will control that relationship.”

“Nick and Vanessa will not last as she is too insecure and doesn’t trust Nick.”

“Nick should have chosen Raven.  She is so nice and beautiful and Nick missed out in not choosing her.”

“I don’t think Vanessa is going to be able to move from Canada as she is so tied to her family and her job.”

Comments of the show kept coming and it seemed like everyone was personally invested in what was happening between Nick and Vanessa.  The topics were different in the salon from the barbershop that I grew up in, but there was a common thread of both of them.  Neither topic ultimately had any significance to how those topics could positively impact our lives.  Sports games today will be meaningless a year from now.  Nick and Vanessa and their choices will have no impact in how we live our lives.  These conversations are means for building bridges of commonality with others, but these topics will never take us to the most meaningful topics that truly change our lives and the lives of others.

On this journey we choose what we think about and what we talk about with others we pass on this road.  Our conversations and the topics we choose can truly open the door for transforming interactions.  Choose your topics carefully.

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